Intern’s Log: It’s the End of the World as We Know It (And I Do Not Feel Fine)
Date: Redacted
Intern ID: Reynolds, J. (I finally saw them. I wish I hadn’t.)
So.
Here we are.
The moment when all the conspiracy theories, classified files, and ridiculous mutant war-animal drama stop being funny.
Because I saw them.
The real ones.
And now?
Now I understand why the **Council of Aliens—the ones who were already furious that humanity uplifted raccoons, dogs, and cats instead of ourselves—**refuses to acknowledge them.
Because these things?
They should not exist.
Phase One: The Meeting I Didn’t Want to Be In
It started with a simple enough premise.
"Reynolds," Eleanor had said, voice clipped, professional. "You’re going to want to see this."
And like an idiot, I followed her.
To a secure facility.
To a very dark room.
To a holographic display that was broadcasting a live feed from an off-world surveillance station.
A feed showing… something.
Something huge.
Something wrong.
Something very, very hungry.
Phase Two: The First Look at the Real Monsters
At first? I didn’t even understand what I was looking at.
It was too big.
Not like a spaceship.
Not like a fleet.
Like a… shadow.
Like something that wasn’t supposed to be there.
And then it moved.
And I saw—
? Limbs where there shouldn’t be limbs.
? Mouths where there shouldn’t be mouths.
? A shifting, writhing form that didn’t follow the rules of biology as I understood it.
? And eyes—God, the eyes.
Hundreds.
Thousands.
All watching.
And all very, very aware of the fact that we were watching back.
Phase Three: The Council’s Response
"What the hell is that?" I whispered.
Eleanor’s jaw was tight.
"We don’t know."
"What do you mean, you don’t know? The aliens have a goddamn space council, right? Ask them!"
Eleanor exhaled sharply.
"We did."
She turned, tapped a command, and a new screen flickered on.
This one?
This one showed representatives of the Galactic Council.
The ones who had previously scolded humanity for uplifting animals instead of ourselves.
The ones who had told us to “contain our chaos.”
And now?
They all looked…
Terrified.
Phase Four: The Moment It Got Worse
"You’ve seen it," one of the council members, a being made of light and crystal, said slowly, carefully.
"Yes," Eleanor confirmed. "And we need information."
A long silence.
Then, the crystalline alien shook its head.
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"It does not exist."
I blinked.
"Excuse me?"
"It does not exist." the alien repeated, voice firmer.
"But we’re looking at it," I argued. "Right now. On a screen. Existing."
"No," another council member, something vaguely aquatic, said. "You do not understand. It does not exist."
And that’s when I realized something.
They weren’t lying.
They weren’t covering up information.
They were genuinely incapable of acknowledging this thing as real.
Which meant—
Oh. Oh holy hell.
Phase Five: What This Means (And Why I Am Losing My Mind)
So let’s break this down:
? Humanity has seen some weird stuff.
? The Council of Aliens has seen even weirder stuff.
? But this? This is something even they refuse to acknowledge.
? Not "won’t acknowledge"—literally cannot process as real.
Which means one of two things:
Whatever this thing is, it exists outside the scope of normal physics, biology, or reality.
It has been erased from existence so thoroughly that even the oldest spacefaring civilizations can’t perceive it.
Either way?
We are not ready for this.
Phase Six: The Part Where I Start Panicking
"So what do we do?" I asked, trying to keep my voice steady.
The Council was silent.
Too silent.
Like they had already decided we weren’t worth saving.
And then—
Then, Vicky, who had been watching this entire time, finally spoke.
"We fight."
She turned to me, golden eyes sharp, unreadable.
"And this time, Reynolds?"
"We don’t fight like humans."
I felt my stomach drop.
Because I knew what she meant.
She meant the Good Boys.
She meant Bandit and his chaos.
She meant Fen and his wolf cult.
She meant Mittens, psychotic as he was, leading his delusional cat-army into something real.
She meant—
The uplifted.
Because if this thing was outside the laws of reality—
Then we couldn’t rely on the species that built civilization within those laws to stop it.
We needed the ones that were never supposed to exist in the first place.
We needed the ones who broke the rules just by being alive.
Phase Seven: The Final Realization
? The Council is afraid.
? The thing we saw is real—but also not real.
? Humanity was never supposed to see this.
? And the only ones who might stand a chance against it?
Are the misfits, the outcasts, the genetic experiments, the rejects.
The uplifted.
For the first time in my life, I actually understood.
Maybe we really do need non-human troops after all.
Because this fight?
It was never going to be won by humans alone.
Final Thoughts
? This is worse than anything I imagined.
? The universe has been lying to itself about this thing for centuries.
? Vicky, Eleanor, and Mittens are already preparing for war.
? I am once again in the middle of something way above my pay grade.
? I am never sleeping again.
I don’t know what happens next.
But I do know this:
The rules don’t matter anymore.
Because we’re fighting something that was never supposed to be fought.
And we?
We were never supposed to exist, either.
End Log.
