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Chapter Ninety-Three: I Know Who I Am – Part Two

  RuggyRuggy

  “You must be tired, High Blessing,” said Aello after she dispersed the crowd. It was just us. The children had returned to their homes since most found it difficult to remain awake. Either that, or they didn’t want me to see them cry. “Please, why don’t you return to the mansion and get some rest? The little ones can be a handful.”

  “I’m fine. I promise. I...”

  “I agree with Aello, my lord,” said Tris. “Today was more eventful than I had predicted. You must let time work on your mind to process the transpired events.”

  “Tris is right,” added Tilde. She grabbed my hand and pointed towards the mansion. “It’s getting te, Master. We don’t have to do everything tonight, do we? We’ll be here for a few more days, at least. And then maybe longer to ensure no side effects or unforeseen concerns after the transpnt. You’ll have more time to spend with the little rascals.”

  Even after Sekh was back, we didn’t have to immediately leave. We could spend a few days ensuring things were okay and return to Parthina. Or Sera could teleport here. She could make up with Aetos, and perhaps she’d teleport us to Irisa and the others?

  “Alright. Let us return, then. Good night, Aello. Should you see the children...tell them I wish them well.”

  “Of course, High Blessing. May your dreams be ever pleasant.” Aello sent us off with a wave of her wings.

  My precious fairy held my right hand, and my beloved Fragment of Wisdom took my left. It felt like I’d wander away if they weren’t keeping me on track.

  I opened a [Skyview] window to the mansion and found Surtr. He was in the field of dying flowers in the backyard, surrounded by death and decay. The once beautiful slice of nature reminded me...more of my actions and what they had wrought.

  Everything... Everything reminds me of it...

  His rge head rested on his paws, and his eyes of fire looked out towards the forest. Before the barrier had broken, he would’ve seen mountain tops...

  I closed the [Skyview] window and sighed, gripping my lovers’ hands for comfort. Niva and Primrose hadn’t returned, so they were probably still with Aetos. Tris opened the door for me, and we ascended to Susize’s room, where I just...plopped on the bed.

  I didn’t even bother undressing. I didn’t have the strength for it.

  “Master…” Tilde said, sitting beside me. She rubbed my head.

  “It... Today was hard. I...”

  “Hey... It’s okay...” Tilde’s comforting voice... Tris’s loving touch to my cheeks...

  The dam burst.

  As much as I hated to admit it...

  Do I hate it?

  I was a High Elf.

  Not a human.

  I was a Vredi.

  Not a Fenton.

  I’d spent so long using that identity to my advantage that I hadn’t realized until now that it had become who I was.

  “I…” My voice was fragile.

  “My lord?” Tris’s anxious voice entered my ears. “Where are you going?”

  “I won’t be long. Just...can I have a moment alone?”

  “Master’s gonna be fine,” said Tilde. She knew what I had pnned. “Here, I’ll talk to you, okay? Go on, Master. Do what you need to do. We’ll be right here.”

  I left without speaking and went to the top floor, entering...that room.

  The room with the empty cages...

  The room with the toy-filled pypen....that would no longer see any py.

  The room...that used to harbor the precious slimes and draingi that Susize loved so much...

  The room...where I was a fool...

  The room...where I acted out of unnecessary hate...

  The room...where I saw...everything reted to the Vredi as an enemy.

  The room...where...I experienced glee...when it came to devouring them.

  “You must’ve been so afraid.” Was I even speaking? My voice was soft. I entered the pen and looked at the closest cage as a fshback pyed out. Susize was here... She had just started her research on the genesis seed, and she was tired—annoyed, maybe, at how slow her findings were progressing. She had intended for the slimes and draingi to be her test subjects, but they quickly became her friends...her companions... They were always there to greet her with a smile.

  “The st time a High Elf visited before was Sera. You spent so long in loneliness, and...you all thought the best when I showed up, right? I can still feel your excitement. I still remember your names. I...” I gripped the toy they loved to py with. It pitifully squeaked, reminding me of their dying...wails...

  “I’m so sorry... I’m so sorry...”

  Empty cages couldn’t accept apologies.

  The dead couldn’t return to life.

  “Why... Why did I do that?! Why did I...have to eat you? Why? Whywhywhywhywhywhy?!”

  I couldn’t hold it back. The regret was building, and building, and building... I clutched the toy and screamed.

  “YOU DIDN’T DESERVE TO DIE! I’M SORRY! I’M SORRY!! I WISH I CAN TAKE IT BACK! AAAHHHH!!!!!!”

  “Please, Tilde, let me--”

  “No.” The fairy’s response was sharp as a chimera’s regretful scream nearly deafened them. Tilde had expected something like this to happen, especially when her Master had started leaning more into her new-found identity. “Master must face this head on. What she’s feeling... It’s not something you can push onto the Essence of Wrath.”

  “But... But that damn thing deserves it!” argued Tris.

  “Maybe, but Master must grow from this. Do you think she's so weak that she can’t handle this?”

  “What?! I—No, that’s not what I meant.” Tris was taken aback by such outrageous cims. Thinking her lord to be that feeble? Tris knew her lord would be the most powerful being in the world. And as her Fragment of Wisdom, Tris was resolved to make whatever dreams her lord harbored come true.

  “You’re smart. Remember what I said a while back? People break all the time. But you can fix them. You can repair them and ensure they’re stronger than ever before. But you can’t do everything for them. This... This is one of those things."

  “I--” Tris was interrupted by another mournful wail. The walls seemed to shake. She bit her lips and clenched her fists, unable to take it any longer. But she had to endure it. She trusted her lord above anyone else. She would never doubt her—not in a million years.

  “It won’t be easy, Tris. Master’s... She’s vulnerable. These next few days are important. But she can trust us to be with her all the way, right?”

  “Right! I... I won’t let her endure it alone! I... But this is uncomfortable... Her tears make me want to cry. It feels like I’m failing her.”

  “But you’re not,” reassured the fairy. She gently grabbed Tris’s hand and rubbed it.

  Tilde and Tris practiced patience for what felt like hours...until the door handle turned. They looked and saw their Master and lord, not ignoring the exhausted, bnk expression pstered on her face. She wasn’t empty-handed, though. A bundle of toys sat in her arms, and she walked to the bed before sitting down. Her eyes were still red and raw, and it still felt like she could shatter at any moment.

  “Do...you think Lei would like these?” she asked, her voice a whisper. “Her pets did. She... She pyed with them all the time. I want to py with Lei like that.”

  “Yeah. Lei'll like the toys, Master.”

  “I...can save the forest? I can save the vilge?”

  “Yes, you can, my lord.” Tris spoke to her lord like a little girl who needed to be reminded she was doing the right thing. Her mental stability wasn’t the best. It was fragile—like a pne of gss bancing precariously on the tip of a pin. Tris’s processing abilities were working to ensure she’d say nothing but the right things.

  “And I can right my wrongs? This is my fault. So, it’s up to me to rectify things? I can’t revive her pets, but I can save the forest they all loved, right? And Mom... She’ll be happy? Dad, too? And Erin would look at me like a role model? I want to do right by them. I want to make them proud...because I love them so much.”

  “They are proud of you, Master. You know that.”

  Lyudmi Vredi Springfield did not reply to her fairy’s statement. Instead, she leaned back and hugged those ancient toys close to her heart, closing her eyes. She let the Susize Vredi inside her transport her mind to the past...relishing in the fragments of a forgotten era one st time.

  Tilde and Tris shared a look before joining the one they loved. They each took an arm or a hand, snuggled close, and remained connected throughout the night.

  It was early the following morning—maybe an hour before dawn, and I sat on the front porch. Tilde and Tris were inside preparing breakfast, and Surtr rested at my feet. His fmes kept me warm even though I was immune to burning or freezing to death. I enjoyed his presence, though. It was comforting and rexed my heart, and…I felt a little better about myself.

  Last night was rough. It was like a flood—no, a plethora of emotions surged through me. But it confirmed something…

  I wasn’t a true Vredi. But I loved this forest. And I loved this nd. And the vilgers, spirits. And the trees, kes, ponds, vines, and bugs…

  I’d come to cherish them all. And… I wanted to find pride in presenting myself as Lyudmi Vredi Springfield because…for someone who hadn’t had an identity…knowing who you were…what you were…and who you wanted to be…

  Many people took that for granted. And I felt like those who knew what a struggle it was to live without those could appreciate how much it meant when someone had something to tch onto.

  “Hmm?” Surtr’s ears twitched, and he raised his head towards a banana-yellow slime happily bouncing down the pathway.

  “Did you have fun? I’m sorry, but Niva’s not back. She’s still speaking with Aetos."

  Lei jiggled and stopped. I think he looked towards the graveyard, but he bounced to the porch. The slime extended a wiggling appendage before hopping into my p like a cat.

  “Lei… Are…you not afraid of me?” I suddenly asked.

  Slimes couldn’t talk. Or if they could, Lei couldn’t. I didn’t know if they were male or female. I’d just been swapping between pronouns, but Lei didn’t seem to mind.

  “You know what I did, right?”

  …

  “I killed them. I ate them. I…can’t take it back. Even still…will you remain with us? I want…to know you better, Lei. And be your friend. Susize loved her pets, and I love you, too.”

  Lei made a funny noise and rubbed against my arms. He bounced off my p and hopped in pce like an excited dog, making a…happy noise?

  “I believe he wants to py, Lord Springfield.” Lei reacted and bounced higher. He zoomed to the left like a streak of lightning before doubling back.

  "Okay, let's py," I said, standing up. Susize's toys for her slimes included several balls, a rope for tug-of-war, a few sticks, and five leashes for when she wanted to take them for a walk.

  I tossed the smallest ball at Lei. He jumped, ‘swallowed’ it in his stomach, and threw it back after spinning. It didn’t reach me, so I had to get closer.

  “Huph!” I tossed it skyward. Lei anxiously vibrated as he darted around, jumping at the st moment to barely catch it. “Haha! Nice one!” Lei hopped once more and spun, ejecting the ball. I ran to the left and snagged it out of their air, twirling to throw it back.

  Our little game sted for about ten minutes before the front door opened. “Are you having fun, Master?” Tilde rested a rolling pin against her shoulder. Her apron was slightly covered in sauce, and she gave us a proud, cute smile.

  Lei answered for me, adorably squeezing before he slithered up my body to rest in my arms.

  “Haha! That’s all I need to hear. Anyway, the food’s done. Ready to eat?”

  “Yeah.” We went to the kitchen and saw a magnificent breakfast spread. The eggs looked fluffy and scrambled, the cucumber sad was filled with delicious fruit and veggies, and the honey-sthered toasted bread with jelly and peanut butter…

  But the stack of pancakes called my name, and so did the cold gss of freshly squeezed milk.

  “It looks delicious.”

  “And that compliment makes it all worth it. Come on, pick up a chair and chow down, Master.”

  “I have a steak for you, Surtr,” said Tris, retrieving a chunk of meat. My lion thanked her and tore into it, devouring the sb in seconds. He then sat at my feet and watched us eat. “And I’ve something for you, Lei.” Tris walked to the counter, grabbed a bowl, and sat it on the table before sitting down. Lei hopped from my arms and investigated it, wigging curiously.

  “Jelly fruit?” Just one look caused another memory to surge. Susize used to grow hollow berries and inject them with homemade jam. Then she’d freeze them for a tasty snack.

  “Yes. It was after you went outside with Surtr. A pnt grew from the floor. Murag’s tome had a recipe, and we had the ingredients to recreate it. I surmise it was Aetos’s doing."

  “I guess you’re still watching, huh?” I looked at the ceiling and walls. “Thanks for the gift.” I turned to Lei. He formed a hand, grabbed a berry, and plopped it into his body, squirming after every ‘bite.’ “He likes it a lot.”

  “Anyway, that’s enough about that. You gotta eat, Master. Or it’s gonna get cold. And your beloved head maid will be sooooo sad that her hard work was for nothing…” Tilde crossed her arms and wouldn’t look away until I had tried everything. And she only sat after I gave a glowing, 5-star review on what she and Tris had elegantly prepared.

  “Yep yep! A head maid like me must obviously know how to cook.” She made a pte and sat beside me, dumping a spoonful of honey over her toast. "And a sweetie like me has to eat something sweet, too. I got boobs now, so all the extra calories go to my chest. You can thank me ter when I’m rocking some double Ds."

  Is that how it works?

  “Haha! I appreciate that,” I said, turning to my food. We ate in bliss. And…it was so comforting. “Why didn’t we wait for Niva and Prim?”

  “Aetos left a message for us in the graveyard. He wrote it in vines and said he was preparing a meal for the three to share. He is gravely ill, but Aetos is not yet crippled. His limitations have greatly grown, though.”

  “It’s putting pressure on him. Every little thing drains from his tank. And he doesn’t have long left,” added Tilde, licking her sweet lips. “Expending his energy’s another way of showing his trust in you, Master.”

  “And I won’t let him down. I said it a hundred times. You aren’t dying on my watch, Aetos.”

  “A broken record much?” Tilde joked.

  “Then I guess you have to put me back together.”

  “Maybe I will, haha!” Tilde ughed, chomping into her stack of pancakes.

  After eating, we went to the backyard and rested on a swing on the back porch until Niva and Primrose arrived about twenty minutes ter. They didn’t look sleepy, but their eyes were still red and raw from crying. And their smiles foreshadowed the welcomed news. I listened and rubbed Lei as they caught me up to speed.

  “I cannot deny the uncomfortableness,” said Primrose, holding a cup of coffee Tilde had brought her. “But I am gd… Thank you, Lord Springfield, for giving me the courage. And you, my summoner, for being with me.”

  “So, the retionship’s rekindled, Primmy? Almost reminds me of Irisa and Kokan.”

  “Yes. The mana link has been reestablished. I… We have discussed everything at great lengths. And if I want to grow stronger to protect the ones I care for… I need my father’s help.”

  “Father, huh?” I smiled.

  “I’m gd, too,” added Niva. “But… Mi? Are you okay? Aetos showed us…what happened.” She said she saw what we did with the children, and they heard the song Tris and I performed. And she knew about my breakdown in the slime and draingi pypen.

  “I’m fine. I can’t take back what happened. I have to live with it. But I can ensure I won’t ever repeat my mistakes.” I poked Lei’s blubbery body and watched him vibrate. “I’ll ensure Lei’s the happiest little guy ever.” Lei made a funny sound and squirmed deeper into my arms. I was…so gd he accepted me.

  “You embody the Vredi name more than you realize, Lord Springfield. Would you like to be called Lord Vredi?”

  “Hmm…” I thought about it, but… “I think it’s too soon, Prim. Maybe I’ll go by it ter, but not now.”

  “Do you feel like… Forgive me for the abruptness, but…”

  “Do I feel like I’m not worthy?” I finished her question. “Yeah. I do. I feel like I can’t take it as my own as I am now. Not when she was the Vredi all High Elves strove to be.”

  “But that’s a tall hill to climb,” replied Primrose.

  “And a difficult one. It may even be insurmountable. But I want to do her proud. Even though…” Even though Susize was Sekh’s enemy. Even though…

  Even still…

  …

  I changed the subject, and my favorite fairy mentioned Niva’s newfound confidence. “You sound different. In a good way. And you hold yourself with more pride.”

  “Tilde’s correct,” said Tris. “My heart warms at your progress, Niva. Congratutions.”

  Niva blushed, but she didn’t turn away. “Primrose’s not the only one who talked with Aetos. He helped me a lot. And it lit a fire under me. Mi, I’m so ready to get back to training. I know… I know I can do this. I know I can evolve, and I know I can become a powerful spirit summoner.” She finished her tea, stood, and grabbed her staff. “Are you ready, Primrose?”

  “I am, my summoner.”

  “You got room for a fairy, yeah?” Tilde stretched her wings and began shadowboxing. "I gotta burn off those cals so I can eat a lot tonight."

  Don’t tell me she wants to go five founds with someone?

  Prim and Niva nodded. “Anyway, that’s what we’re gonna do. What’s on your docket, Master?”

  “Hmm…”

  “We encountered Enap yesterday, my lord. I mentioned your request, and he said he would ready the tools for you to finish your gifts for Lady Sekh and Irisa. I’ve verified that he’s awaiting us in his workshop."

  I knew Tris was willing to create the pns, but these had to come from the heart. And I wanted to show her how much better I’d gotten at using her abilities. So, I decided to scrap what I had before and start anew from the beginning.

  "Then that’s our pn. Lei? What about you? You can come with us, but it’s probably going to be really hot and uncomfortable.”

  Lei jiggled like he was thinking and gestured to Niva. “Okay. Be sure to help her out a lot, okay?”

  Lei happily squealed, and Tris and I departed, but not before leaving Lei’s toys to py with if they took a break.

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