On the set of the biggest commerical I've ever done I sat after failed takes and failed acting projects. No one has seen the star I'm going to become.
As I sit there thinking to myself how big of a deal this is the producer calls for everyone to get in action
I take a deep breath and I stand and adjust my blue blazer and adjust my platinum hair to the point of where every hair is in place and I exhale deeply
The director comes to me and says "alright we have a new idea for this commercial you're going to climb a structure that is thirty feet tall and hop down but don't worry we have cords and strings to make you safe"
"That sounds nice so same line as past takes right?" I wave my hands for understanding.
The director agrees and says "yeah pretty much just give us that flare that only Jack Rhyder can bring"
"You know it" I arrive to the structure and the production team starts to put a harness on me. As I am being set up for the scene the proucer comes up to me and give me a energy drink and I begin to climb the structure.
I finally make it to the top and as I'm ready to do the scene the director yells "again same lines just different take". I nod and say "thanks for the pep talk that means so much really" I hold the energy drink and think to myself who would drink this shit.
As I am caught in thought the director yells "alright take twelve" I take a deep breath and the cameras focus up and I say alright nothing beats focus up energy drink and take my word for it nothing is better when you are tired than this energy drink"
And hop down but as I am hoping down the coord gets stuck and I am left dangling there and it messes up the shot. The team has to grab a ladder and unwrap the cords and I am slightly frustrated. As the team is letting me down I think to myself this commercial is going to shit. The team finally lets me down and my feet hits the floor the producer talks to me and says "no worries why don't you just take a thirty minutes break and go clear your mind"
"Right because that'll fix everything but I know what will make everything better that snack table over there so why don't you go fix what you need to fix and Ill go fix my empty stomach"
I head to that snack table and see some donuts and chips I indulge first by eating chips and take some chips and dip it in some cream.
A person talks to me wearing all black and a cap and says also making a plate "you know you shouldn't indulge to much"
I turn my head and speak with a mouth full of food and say "of course without a focus up energy drink right"
She chuckles
I say "oh God you're a women no wonder you're so good at tracking calories and also now that you tell me to stop eating and a women is here I can turn my attention to something else"
She walks away and say what's the matter did you track my calories to much and it was too much"
The producer comes to me and says "I got a new idea that should make this work" he pulls out a golden looking watch/ bracelet and I say "where this idea thirteen takes ago and what's the purpose of this ridiculous looking watch"
"Right right it was all on my part and I should've done it sooner but new take new direction right and this watch is supposed to help us promote heart health"
I exhale and say "well hopefully right and that's a strong hopefully"
The producer says "well let's get you all strapped in and lets rock and roll shall we"
I make my way to the structure and the producer hands me the energy drink and I says "again same lines lucky number thirteen right" and chuckles a bit
The production team straps me up and put the watch on me and I climb the thirty foot structure. I make it to the top of the structure and look at this watch and I remember my lines.
The producer says "alright take thirteen everyone" and the cameras focus up and the loud "action!"
I hold up the energy drink and I say "this energy drink is amazing take my word for it that how I keep going in this world and what makes me up in the morning"
I then hop off the structure and a multiverse rift opens and I go through it and then set explodes.
Chapter two: Jurassic Jack
I go through the rift and I land in a jungle with the energy drink still in my hand and I look up to the orange skies and tall trees and hear roars around
I get next to a tree and kneel down with the energy drink still with me and as I kneel down the leaves below my feet crunch.
I look around as I kneel and I hear more roars and my heart starts to pick up as I am kneeling down and protecting myself from the dangerous roars "oh God" I say as I see as a flying dinosaur goes flying through the sky above the trees.
I run as my heartbeat quickens and as I am running through the jungle I look up and find my way to a shore line near water and there is T-Rex drinking water and I get terrified and as I am slowly backing away I see a large underwater creature come up and eat the T-Rex and drag it into the water and I run and I still have the energy drink in hand and watch still on arm.
I run into the jungle and I walk slowly trying to recover from the scene I just witnessed. Next I walk slowly and then I hear some chirping noises coming from behind me and it's a dinosaur that's a predator and it's right behind me and I can hear the chirping noises come from all around and it's turns out I am surrounded by flesh eating dinosaurs and they lunge at me trying to test my nerves and they take a snip of my perfectly placed hair.
Suddenly a multiversal rift opens and I am sucked through.
Chapter Three: There Was A Plan
I am sucked through the rift and I am in a locker room of big gruff and tough men and after seeing dinosaurs lunde at me I am in the locker room of big men sitting on the floor screaming like a little girl.
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I scream and after opening one eye I take a look around and the screaming lowered down as I am being looked at and judged by the alerted people.
I make my way up and a big shirtless man comes up to me and says "hey what's the matter?" I say "well I just got almost taken my head off by a dinosaur and I have no idea what's going on?"
The big gruff man says "well you have no idea where you are and you came here in a blimp and it's alerted all of us" he says in a gruff voice and you just take a seat in the locker room and I'll bring you water or something to cool down"
I make my way up from the carpeted floor and dust off my blazer and pants and adjust my hair again and i stagger my way over to the bench and I sit and take a deep exhale and watch as the big tough men in spandex walk by and I catch my breath.
An old man comes up to me and he is wearing a yellow jumpsuit and makes his way over to me and says "hey I heard all this yelling in here and hoped it wasn't coming from one of my fighters"
I look around and I say "why is it because I'm the only guy in here not wearing spandex and has muscles?"
The old man says"yeah" and I chuckle
I ask "so what's going on here anyway and please don't tell me I entered a dance rehearsal for a boy band"
The old man laughs and says "oh no this is a fighting charity event for sick kids" he also follows up by saying you have a nice presentation why don't you fight tonight?"
I exhale and then I say "well despite having my face almost bitten off by a dinosaur and a bad and long and exhaustive day what next to then to have a fight?"
The old man says "that's the spirit you're going to become a good fighter I can sense it"
"Well I sense I didn't get my water yet" I shout in the locker room and a guy tosses me a small bottle water and I think to myself really this is best you can do
The old man says well "here's the thing I have the perfect opponent for you" he points his finger to bald man in the locker room who is buff and his muscles have muscles he has tattoos on his back of skulls and names.
The old man calls him over and he says "this will be your opponent for tonight he is ex military and he doesn't smile" as I sit there I play with flicker with my watch as it isn't moving I try to listen to the old man as my moves to why I cant remove my watch.
"Yeah i can see that" and my eyes scan him as his eyes are blank and his fists are clenching.
As I scan him my eyes widen a bit
The old man continues to say "yeah his gruffness and your flashiness will go great and create something magical, so get done with your water and come to the ring and fight" the old man walks away and the fighter chuckles and looks me up and down and walks away. I drink the energy drink from earlier as I believe it has no use now since it's been to the prehistoric age and back around.
I drink the water and stand up my heartbeat calmed down a bit but my struggles back to why I cant remove the watch and I try to remove it with all of my strength and I even go up to a few strong men and ask if they can remove it but to no avail they just end up hurting my arm and I just say "hey easy" and they all apologize and the first thing that comes to my mind is everyone tricked me when I make my way through the crowded locker room of buff angry men.
I make my way through the hallways and there's neon and blue lights and ladies walking around my eyes turn towards them as I approach the curtain.
Before I enter through the curtain the old man appears from out of no where and I get shaken a bit and say "this is your moment and remember the cause" I enter through out the curtain and as I am making my way to ring the announcer butchers my name and says "making his way to the ring Jonathan Rhyder" and the crowd looks confused and some look angry and they boo me I enter the ring and go to the referee and say "hey I'm new here and you could say to the opponent to go easy on me" and he looks past me and heavy metal start blasting in the arena and I get shaken.
I turn around as everyone is cheering and the announcer says with enthusiasm "making his way to the ring leon lyodd" he makes his way into the ring and he is hooded and when he takes his hood off his eyes are piercing and he just stares at me.
As he is getting fired up and the bell rings and the fighter strikes his fighting position and my heart beat goes up and say "oh no"
A multiverse rift opens and I am sucked in
Chapter Four: lights, cameras and roses
As I am sucked from the ring and not even prepared to fight I land in a land where I am surrounded by cameras and a lady in a red dress and a bunch of guys on a podium.
I look around and say to the cameras that "hold on give me a chance to prepare myself"
As i stand up the cameras go down and the lights go down and the host comes out and helps me up and says "hey man this is a big moment"
A guy who is in the reality TV show said to me yeah this is my big moment and everyone was waiting on me to receive a rose.
I look at that guy and thinks to myself what a douche
The hosts says to me "why don't you be in the show you seem flashy and well presented?"
I question "well what's the show about?"
The host says "you find love with this one lady and at the end of the series like right now she picks someone"
All I hear is lady and love and I say "I'm in"
The host says "a nice decision maker that's what I like"
I say "yup so let's get started shall we?"
I go and sit on the couch and the women comes up to me and introduce herself and she tells me her name is "Julia Peterson" and the host says I am an impromptu on the show.
The host says let's create magic and I agree she sits next to me and the host says let's create magic
The cameras start rolling and she pauses giving out roses and I get to have time with her to myself and we sit there getting to know each other and she tells dead dog something something and car crash something something and everything she tells me goes out the other ear.
Since this is the season finale of intergalactic bachelorette it is just me and a goblin and a vampire and she goes back up to the stand and we stand at the podium and she has one rose to give out and I she starts expressing emotion and I nod and she calls my name and one of the goblin start swearing and throwing a fit and has to escorted out by security and the vampire just stands there nodding. I make my way forward to receive this rose and I get the rose and the host comes forward and says you've won the princesses heart. The princess is crying and I am looking at the camera making sure they get the right shot and she queen hugs me and she justs cries saying I just feel a connection with him and of course I am stating into the cameras.
The hosts ask me "what do you feel? How do you feel?" I say well....well I don't really see a connection I'm just here boost my celebrity
A multiverse rift opens
Chapter Five: cowboys boots and mech
As I am sucked through the rift I land on a sandy plain with wooden houses around and I lay on my belly
As I stagger my way up I see a bar and I have to get to it and I dust myself off and I see eyes on people that are dressed in wild West fashion and mech horses
I make my way into the bar and it is filled with soft music and by far I am the most flashiest person here everyone has dark clothes.
I take a seat at the bar and and exhale thinking to myself I've really earned this after the day I had.
The bartender comes over and I say give me "the best of what you have honestly Ive deserve everything"
The bartender says "oh you're having one of those days I know what'll due"
In the meantime I come back look around and see a few men that looks like they've had the day I've had but no, no one has.
After a few minutes the bartender comes back with the richest alcohol you can serve and is promised to cool down the day.
I say yup that's sounds like it does the trick
I take the glass and chug it and I wipe my mouth.
As i sit there calming down my day everyone in the bar goes out and on about there day until it's just me and a guy comes in and as he comes in the soft background music stops and he says " hey you!" "That's right I'm talking to you" I turn around and say fuck
I face the guy and he is wearing a cowboy hat with a white button down and he says you still owe me that race"
I say you must have the wrong guy
He says nah you the guy you're chrono morano and you still owe me that race so meet me in the arena at four
He exits the bar and I say what the fuck was that?"
The bartender comes to me and says it looks like you have no choice want some more alcohol?"
I say why so I can ride one of these mech horses drunk please"
Until four o'clock I go to the standium and enter and hop on one of these mechanical bulls and they go super fast and and i end up winning the race and the crowd erupts and the real chrono show up and i am sucked through a multiversal rift
Chapter six: set back the clock
As I am sucked through the rift I come back to the time and place of me being at the top of the structure still holding a energy drink and I get down as the watch has been with me this whole time.
I get down from the thirty foot structure and I go to the producer as I cannot get the watch off and he says he knows that watch is attached to the skin and has been searching for a host and that watch feeds off energy and was created by a failed scientist
I get angry and confused I tackle the producer down to the ground and we get sucked into a multiversal rift and we fight throughout time first the French revolution and then the war of 1812 and then we make our war to the Jurassic period and we have a standoff and he says "wait!" And then the same four raptors surround him and eat him
I make my way back to the street outside of the studio and walk back to my apartment to take a nap as the watch is feeding off my energy and can feel it.