The rge bald man and the bobcat stared each other down for a long second.

  Then Fraulein started purring a big rumbling purr that belonged to an animal about twenty pounds rger than her current shape.

  "I just don't get it," Shilloh hummed, "I feed that bitch almost every week. I give her tick treatments and even pull thorns from her paws. But she doesn't like me half as much as she likes you."

  The big cat padded over to the still-frozen Nick and rubbed her face against his hands. She dragged her whole length along him and then colpsed onto her side, shoulder pressed to his stomach and eyes closed as she rumbled happily.

  "I," the big man said, trying to keep his voice calm, "am not trained in handling rge carnivores."

  "Neither am I," shrugged Shilloh, "but I can still tell that she wants you to pet her."

  "This is a wild animal," he hissed.

  "Yup. A wild kitty-cat. But just look at that little slut. What dangerous animal does that? Bet you money she was raised by humans."

  "She is not little!"

  "Hey, let's not body shame. The poor girl just wants to be your friend."

  To punctuate that point, Fraulein rolled over and gently pawed at Nick's hand.

  "Awww, she loves you."

  Nick sighed, his brow furrowing, "Obviously, she loves me. And I love her. She's beautiful, and sweet, and smarter than any lynx—"

  "Kitty-cat."

  "Then any goddamn lynx should be. She is also, obviously, magical. And I half expect that she has augmented intelligence. But I. Do. Not. Know. I don't know if this is safe. I don't know if this is legal. And I definitely don't know how to pet a goddamn lynx!"

  "With your hand?" Shilloh suggested.

  The bald wizard scowled, veins pulsing in his temple. But he let the bobcat gently tug his hand down with both of her paws. "Shilloh, please, even regur cats will swipe at people who pet them wrong."

  "Yup," she confirmed helpfully, "sometimes even people who do it right."

  "Can you imagine what damage a lynx ("Itty bitty kitty," Shilloh whispered) could do if she swiped at me?"

  "Dunno. But, better question, how long do you think you can keep a woman waiting before she gets mad?"

  To underscore the point, Fraulein bumped her head against the hand she had pulled down.

  With a final sigh, Nick began to pet the entitled bobcat. He did it smoothly and methodically like he was trying not to miss a single hair or be asymmetrical in his efforts. Fraulein's purr got louder, and she had a dreamy half-lidded expression.

  "I just don't get it," Shilloh repeated, shaking her head. "I'm the one that feeds her. Is it your technique?"

  Nick ignored the short woman on his counter and seriously told Fraulein, "Thank you for the privilege, ma'am. I am honored and terrified. Please, if you're willing to do me a favor, do not kill or maul me. I am afraid of your capabilities even though you are nothing but refined, lovely, and benevolent to me. I hope you understand and give me a warning when you want me to stop touching your fur. Which is lovely, if I didn't mention that already. Also, you're lovely. And elegant. And smart. Please don't cut me."

  "You're doing great," Shilloh gave him a double thumbs up.

  "I don't have training for this," he snarled.

  Nick made a fuss, but they both knew it was safe. The bald man had grown to be friends with Fraulein back when he thought she was some sort of familiar under Shilloh's control. After all that time, he knew deep down that nothing would happen.

  Shilloh also knew nothing would happen. But it wasn't something she could expin. Both because it was part of her secret and because it was actually hard to expin. She connected well with animals, even for one of her kind. Add in her magic and abilities, and she had an unusually good head for such things.

  That's why, despite no coherent evidence, Shilloh was certain that Fraulein was smarter than regur cats. She was also magical, benevolent, and had adopted both Shilloh and Nick.

  That knowledge was an instinct plus a little something extra, just like how she could predict the weather. Not to say she was infallible, but she was right most of the time while being wrong occasionally to keep life interesting.

  She and Nick fell into business talk while the big cat extorted them for affection. Shilloh tried to sell him the extra rosemary, mint, and wild lettuce from her garden. Nick asked if her work would take her close to several herbs and mushrooms in dangerous parts of the deep forest. They went back and forth, and she staunchly refused to expin to him how she had found a source of fresh juniper so far from the regions where it usually grew.

  "Well, how about this," said the bald man," I won't charge you for the name of a reliable Bane, but I will make a list of things in high demand. The sort of stuff usually in areas you would avoid without a Bane around. If you find any while you're out with my guy, they come to my shop first."

  "Deal. What suggestions do you have for the Bane in question?"

  He rattled off names.

  "Thanks. I don't know them, though. What are their stories?"

  He looked at her funny.

  "What?"

  "Forsythe isn't that big. How have you not heard about any of these people?"

  "I'm a busy woman."

  She left unsaid that she also had a heap full of secrets and did not particurly want to insert herself into social situations where it would be easy to mix up her back story. The apocalypse made looking into people's past much harder, but it wasn't impossible. Early attempts at dating had already shown her that the juice just wasn't worth the squeeze.

  Plus, she had already bought a few scattered pieces of nd for project Rich Bitch Landowner Savior. It wasn't much, at least not yet. Just a pasture here and there, plus an old, dipidated cabin in the woods with an intractable bear problem. But better safe than abducted. So she kept a low profile and went out of her way to ensure that rangers, Blightbanes, and anyone else who routinely needed to move about the woods and cross property lines wouldn't recognize her name.

  Nick took her deflection at face value, "Fair. We've only had a handful of Banes who do it as their full-time jobs. Wade is okay, but I wouldn't stake my reputation on the others, especially Lucy. She's not the fun kind of crazy. The rest of the non-pros are just good old-boy hunter-types. Some Weres. Mostly people who get certified for the extra pay for being 'designated reservists' in case of a crypto attack. They pass recertifications every few years and not much else."

  The carnage Shilloh had seen wasn't something she wanted an enthusiastic deer hunter to help her with. The mossquade bodies had been mangled with huge wounds and eyes almost squeezed out of their heads.

  "Tell me more about Wade then. I want a professional to handle this."

  Nick nodded, petting Fraulein in his methodical way; like he was painting her back with warmth and didn't want to miss any spots. "Good. People don't understand risk calcutions. Though really, they just don't understand statistics in general. 'Cause it's not just probability of occurrence and Bayesian stats. The severity of consequences associated with the occurrence is also a factor—"

  She was about to poke some fun at him for his pontification when the front bell to his shop rang. Before she could damage the shop's reputation, Shilloh slid off the counter. Fraulein took the hint and slinked away as well.

  The big cat's consideration didn't help the store's reputation as much as it could have because Nick yelped at her sudden movement.

  "Seriously," he asked, "she won't attack a customer, right? I know you wouldn't intentionally put me in that situation, but I feel morally obligated to confirm."

  Shilloh sighed and leaned a hip against the counter, "Come on, man. Don't make me be serious. This is the only pce I get to feel like a wise-ass rebel." His eyes were still concerned, so she signed and abandoned her teasing. "Yes. I can confirm that Fraulein is intelligent enough not to attack humans unless threatened."

  "Is she smart enough to distinguish what an actual threat is from a human?"

  She feigned a moment of thought.

  "Hey, Shilloh. Shilloh. Shilloh! You're pausing. I don't like that you're pausing!"

  Pity won out, and she let him off the hook. "I strongly feel that she could make that distinction."

  "'Feel! That's not good enough. Do you have evidence to support your feeling?"

  Before he could go further, the person who had entered the shop strode into their view.

  "Evidence? Doth mine ears deceive? Nick the Impetuous, Nick the Capricious, Nick who is also known as He of The Massive Yet Not Uncomfortably Huge Schlong, asking for evidence? Say it isn't so!"

  The newcomer had thrown a hand dramatically to her brow as she spoke. She was short, even shorter than Shilloh. She had beautiful chestnut hair that went to just below her chin. Her skin was tan in a way that Shilloh envied, her body was curvy without being stocky (in a way Shilloh also envied), and she had big brown eyes and full shes. Many feelings stirred in Shilloh's belly. If not for the woman's clothes, it was a toss-up whether Shilloh would have hated her or wanted to flirt with her. Luckily, the short smart-ass had on what had to be a professionally tailored business suit, expensive shoes, and what was probably a high-end handbag. It was hard to tell how expensive because her clutch and jacket were absolutely covered in so many poorly sewed-on sequins that the outfit could only be a 'fuck-you’ or part of a school-spirit week's ugly outfit contest.

  This endeared her immediately, though some part of Shilloh still wanted to hate her in self-defense. She felt particurly inelegant next to this woman.

  "Whoa," Shilloh said, pointing at the outfit.

  "I know, right?" the other woman grinned. "Hey, you single?"

  "What?"

  "That a yes?"

  'For you it is', Shilloh almost said. But she managed to just nod instead.

  "Perfect. Then, keep talking about evidence. Maybe use the word 'optimize' or, better yet, 'variable operationalization.' We'll get Nick here all hot and bothered so you can see the goods." She waved generally at the man's crotch. "It'd be easier if it were grey sweatpants weather. But one must work with what one has avaible."

  Nick took a deep breath and raised his eyes up to the heavens.

  Shilloh pursed her lips, "Are you trying to… not get him id?"

  "Nonsense," the woman said, hopping onto Nick's counter and crossing her legs with a degree of fir and poise that just barely crossed the line from prim to sardonic. "I am the picture of tact. To such a degree that no one would ever call me a 'terrible wing-woman so incompetent as to be found in the contraceptive aisle of all major grocery chains.'" The tiny, elegant, and clearly insane woman made air quotes and stared Nick right in the face.

  "I feel this dispy further substantiates my point," the beefy bald man said. "Now get off my counter."

  "First, how about you get off my dick and give me a break," said the insane woman that Shilloh was already a little in love with. "I'm an awesome wing-woman. Name one time I've failed you."

  "Fifteen seconds ago."

  "That was hirious. It doesn't count."

  "When you made out the brother of the one with green hair—"

  "Name two times."

  "When I was talking to that one girl, you started giving me a back massage and an X-rated pep talk."

  "It was good advice!"

  "It was advice about how I needed to keep my eye on the ball if I was going to get someone on board with my Thomas the Train Cospy fetish!"

  "Responsible kink communication requires respect and forethought. Consent is sexy."

  "That's not my kink!"

  "I know. Again, hirious. Doesn't count."

  Shilloh smiled and left the two to banter. Some part of her wanted to know what would happen if she mentioned the Fraulein's frequent visits to see 'Boyfriend Nick.'

  But she had gotten the name she needed and a list of herbs she could sell to Nick as a bonus. No need to make a spsh. Instead, she went to the best source of gossip she knew of. It was time to confirm her intel on this 'Wade' character.

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