Bein' real here, I think I know what it feels like to be in a hentai - waking up face-down on the concrete after getting attacked by a tentacle, exhausted, disoriented, yet surprisingly relaxed in the shoulders. My limbs were loose with that post-electrocution tingle, my tongue felt like sandpaper wrapped around a brick, and my nose was bent from getting smashed into the ground for hours.
Opening my eyes took effort, and when I'd managed it, the blurry outline of a holding cell swam into view - gray stone walls, iron bars, and the dim glow of a lamp outside the cell.
Ace sat on the bench a few feet away, staring at the wall opposite us with the vacant expression of someone who'd been counting the same cracks in the stone for hours. His hands were cuffed in front of him, the metal glinting dully in the low light.
I tried to swallow and immediately regretted it. "Geez, my mouth is dry. What happened?"
"You tried to run and got tased."
I pushed myself up on my elbows, my muscles struggling to hold the weight of my head. "They've got tasers now?!"
"Apparently. You went down like a sack of potatoes."
I couldn't stand. I had to crawl toward the bench, then rock and squirm like a slug to get up onto the bench. Once I was up there, I could slump against Ace, using him to sit up. "What time is it?"
"4 AM."
"When can we get out of here?"
"I have no idea."
We sat in silence for a moment, listening to the occasional distant clanking of metal and muffled voices from somewhere else in the prison. The guards were probably playing cards or something while we rotted in there.
"We got enough for an article out of that, right?" I asked.
"Hopefully - if the Guard let us publish something about being out after hours and circumventing their checkpoints."
"An Evening with the Entente!" I suggested.
"A Royal Affair!" Ace said, a small smile breaking through his tired expression.
"Winch Line is it Anyway?"
Ace blinked at me. "... What?"
"It's 4 AM and I just got tased - give me a break." I said, slowly sliding down the back wall.
A Guard's sabatons clinked loudly on the stone floor as someone walked down the hall. The footsteps approached our cell, growing louder until a peacekeeper appeared, keys jingling in his hand.
A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.
"Come on; you're free to go." he said, unlocking the cell door.
"What, no breakfast?" I mumbled.
The guard's scowl deepened. "Move it before I change my mind."
Ace and I drunkenly staggered up and stumbled over to the door. The guard unlocked Ace's handcuffs, then gestured for us to follow him down the hallway.
The prison corridors were just as cheerful as our cell - all cold stone and iron fixtures with mana-lights spaced too far apart to actually illuminate things properly. Our footsteps echoed off the walls as we followed the guard toward the administration center. The room was mostly empty - just a clerk behind a desk who looked half-asleep and Reggie standing there in a big coat. He... well, he didn't look mad, but he was haggard.
"Alright, kids, come on." he said, gesturing toward the exit. "They treat you alright?"
"Cherry got tased." Ace said as we climbed the stairs leading up to the surface.
Reggie snorted. "It's not her first time, and I'd be disappointed if it were her last. So, what were you up to this time?"
Ace said, "It started as an update on what the NPCs were doing by the Citadel, then they wanted our help smuggling in some supplies."
"We were fighting the man!" I added, throwing my fist in the air and immediately regretting it as it teetered my balance around.
"Really? NPCs? Come on, you two've been doing this long enough to know better than that - the story is just set dressing; there are no actual stakes. They'll ask the next fool to come along and help them with the same thing and it'll reset again and again."
"I know, but..." Ace shrugged. "One thing leads to another, and things happen."
"It was for the good of the Kingdom!" I insisted. "They know we're the best paper, you know?"
Reggie nodded, holding the door open as we entered the hallway to the lobby of Evermoon Gardens. "Things do tend to happen when we're not paying attention. So you got caught up in the fantasy, now you're sobering up in the tank. Happens to all of us."
The lobby was deserted at this hour. The polished floor squeaked as we walked across it. A lone Guard stood by the main entrance, looking bored out of his mind.
"Are there going to be any charges?" Ace asked.
"Not this time; I got it down to a warning." Reggie said, pushing open the massive doors that led outside.
"Thanks, Reggie."
"Sorry, Reggie." I mumbled.
The night air hit us like a slap in the face - cold and icy with light snow, but refreshingly clean after hours in that cell.
"No problem." Reggie said, buttoning his coat against the chill. "You may be colossal goofs, but you're the best reporters I've got. Keep up the good work." He paused, as if suddenly remembering something. "Oh, and say, how's that piece on artists coming?"
Ace froze mid-step. "Oh... uh, it's coming alright!"
"Do you know when it'll be done?"
"Uh..."
"We'll get you a draft tomorrow!" I said.
"Fantastic. Now this guy is going to escort you home. No more late-night shenanigans."
"See you tomorrow, boss!" Ace called as Reggie walked away with one of the Guards, leaving another peacekeeper waiting to escort us.
Ace showed him where our inn was located, and the peacekeeper nodded, gesturing for us to start walking. As we trudged through the empty streets of Celestia Grand, Ace leaned toward me.
"Tomorrow?! You told him we'd have that article done tomorrow?!"
"He got us out of jail - twice! I didn't want to let him down!"
"We keep putting it off - you keep putting it off because it's Courtney-work! We don't have anything!"
"Then we'll figure it out! We're Ace Reporter, Cherry Keane, baby! We can do anything!"
"Except escape the cops." Ace muttered.
"Well, now that we know they have tasers, we'll see what happens next time."
The peacekeeper escorting us cleared his throat loudly. We were outside our inn.
As we headed inside, Ace turned to the guard with a polite smile. "Next time, we won't break the law!"
The peacekeeper's expression didn't change. "Curfew lifts at 6; remain inside until then."