Below me, a chair. On a table in front of me, a crystal ball. Alongside me, my retainers. In my hands, two pieces of paper. One of them was blank. The other had a recipe for roast duck written on it. I placed both pages on the table. Then, I turned to Johannes.

  "Here's the plan," I said. "We know crystal balls can be used to record images. I've even helped set up a movie."

  Then, I held up a finger.

  "Perhaps we can record an image of this piece of paper and then put it on another piece of paper," I suggested.

  Johannes nodded.

  "I've just started my magic item creation training, but..."

  He paused in thought for a moment.

  "...I think if it's modifying a magic item, I can do it."

  "And I'll be here with you all the way," Astrid said.

  "Thanks, Astrid," Johannes replied. "I could use the support. I'm sure I can succeed, but it won't be easy."

  Joanna then smiled.

  "I don't know much about magic items, but I know a little bit. I'll do what I can to help," she stated.

  Then, I gave Johannes a nod.

  "I'm sure I know even less about them than Jonna, but I will help too if I can," I promised.

  A knock came at the door. I turned to it.

  "Yes?" I asked.

  "Is Saint Sir Gustav, Lord von Blitzburg here?" a voice uttered from the other side.

  "I am him."

  "His Majesty, King Eduard the Defenestrator, wishes to speak to you. He is in the private meeting room."

  "Tell him I'll be right there."

  I stood up.

  "I'm afraid I'll have to help you later, Johannes. His Majesty awaits," I said.

  "It's fine," he replied. "His Majesty comes first, or you might find yourself getting thrown out a window."

  With that, I left the room with even greater haste than before. I moved my way to the private meeting room. There, King Eduard the Defenestrator was with Queen Eleanor.

  I noticed a crystal ball on the table. Queen Hildoara's face could be seen inside of it. King Eduard gestured to a chair, and I sat down.

  "Saint Gustav, it is good to see you again today," the king said.

  "It is good to see you too, Your Majesty," I replied. "I hope I was not late."

  Sweat trickled down my brow when I said that.

  "I expected you to take longer to arrive. So, you're here already," King Eduard stated.

  Relief flowed through me.

  "All the better," Queen Eleanor added. "We can get started sooner rather than later."

  "I am ready whenever you need me," I said.

  "Good," King Eduard nodded. "To begin with, how did your conversation with your retainer go?"

  With a thumbs up and a smile, I spoke.

  "It went great! She's more than happy to help!"

  Hildoara breathed a sigh of relief.

  "Thank the gods. Now, we can move ahead with that plan," she said.

  "Yes," King Eduard nodded. "Saint Gustav, we will assign your retainer a few bodyguards."

  "I'm certain Dame Astrid will accept that. Please give her some more training too, Your Majesty," I stated.

  My king placed a hand on his chin.

  "That is perfectly acceptable. I will assign one of my best knights to train her. I am certain he will be better at this than whatever knights she has been training with at my palace," King Eduard stated.

  Queen Hildoara then spoke up.

  "Gustav, I'm sure you're worried about your retainer potentially getting negative attention from the people of Greenrivers. I will have some of my most trusted servants spread rumors about Dame Astrid's birthplace in Vandalland. This will spread the news we want to Motteburh without making things difficult for her in Greenrivers."

  I stood up and bowed deeply.

  "Thank you, Your Majesty," I said.

  "And that brings us to the second point of this meeting," King Eduard the Defenestrator stated. "Saint Gustav, as King of Greenrivers, I cannot allow you to throw away your dignity."

  Unauthorized usage: this tale is on Amazon without the author's consent. Report any sightings.

  What dignity?

  "However little of it you have."

  Ah, he was finally starting to learn.

  "I don't want you to do that either," Queen Hildoara said. "Or, rather, I think it would be a bad thing if people found out you have no dignity."

  She knows me so well.

  "And she still likes you," D?é??om noted. "I don't know whether to be happy for you or massively worried about the future."

  "You can be both," I thought.

  "That is a very good point."

  King Eduard then took a deep, deep, deep breath.

  "With that in mind, we have come up with a mutually beneficial deal. We also discussed this with your parents, and they gave their consent," he said.

  "Yes. To start off with, Saint Gustav, you will be married in an arranged marriage to Queen Hildoara, and you will be her sole husband," Queen Eleanor stated. "Not a concubine, a husband."

  I...expected to at least date her for a bit first. Nervousness started to overtake me. It was a struggle to hold down my shaking. This was good news, but it was a little bit of a surprise, to put it mildly.

  "Medieval society, remember?" D?é??om asked.

  "Right. Medieval society," I thought. "I don't really have a right to object to this, but I doubt anyone is going to ask if I have any objections."

  D?é??om burst out laughing. I internally did the same.

  "They got your parents' consent. That's all they need," the deity said.

  "Yeah, mine doesn't really matter as far as marriage goes. I should count myself lucky that I'm going to marry someone I actually like."

  All this time, I made sure my expression was serious. I didn't want anyone to know how nervous I was. At least, not yet.

  "What are the other terms?" I asked.

  "Legally speaking, when you marry Queen Hildoara, you will be a citizen of Greenrivers half of the year. And the other half, you will be the King of Vandalland," King Eduard explained.

  I nodded.

  "So, which half of the year are we talking about? There are 373 days in the Godigisel Calendar. So, that means there's an odd number of days of the year," I pointed out.

  My king waved it off.

  "It's a formality issue," he said. "Effectively, you will be able to go to Greenrivers and Vandalland as freely as any high-ranking noble. And I doubt the nobles of Vandalland will stop obeying you simply because of the date. It is more of a logistical technicality for issues like taxes than anything else."

  Hildoara spoke up.

  "King Eduard is right that you won't have to worry about the nobles. This current arrangement effectively makes a permanent alliance between Vandalland and Greenrivers. Showing you disrespect at any time of the year is an insult to both kingdoms," she stated.

  "It will be after you are married," Queen Eleanor clarified.

  I nodded.

  "Okay, I understand," I said. "Are there any other conditions?"

  "Yes. You are to engage in economic consultation with Greenrivers to the best of your ability. And you will swear a sacred oath on the gods that you will do this. Effectively, you will continue to be an economic advisor of mine even after you become King of Vandalland," King Eduard explained. "There are other terms too, namely some economic concessions and deals both ways. However, you will not have to worry about those until after you are the King of Vandalland."

  This was honestly much better than I thought it would be. In fact, this whole marriage thing was resolved far easier than I thought would be possible. I wondered if King Eduard the Defenestrator was internally sighing with relief? I mean, he was probably thinking that it would be much more difficult than it actually was.

  "So, when is the wedding?" I asked.

  "We have yet to determine an exact date," King Eduard answered.

  "However, to keep any of us from being distracted, it will be after this business with Motteburh is resolved," Queen Eleanor added.

  I suspected that a part of the reason for the delay was to motivate me to deal with the Motteburh matters sooner. Well, I was already going as fast as I could, but economic matters take time. Still, I gave the monarchs a deep bow.

  "Very well. The wedding will make a nice victory celebration over Motteburh," I said.

  "My thoughts exactly," Queen Eleanor replied.

  King Eduard nodded.

  "Though, it will not be an official celebration," he stated. "However, concerning Motteburh, there is another issue Queen Hildoara brought up."

  That could not be good news. Whatever it was, we'd have to deal with it.

  "What is it, Your Majesty?" I asked.

  "Yesterday, some of my men caught a Motteburh agent sneaking through Vandalland," Hildoara answered. "After torturing him, he revealed that the Motteburh nobles are trying to rally the sea elves to get them to attack Vandalland. I am certain you know what rallying cry they're using, Saint Gustav."

  Well, fuck.

  "Joanna," I said.

  "Yes. The Motteburh agents are saying that King Eduard is harboring a criminal who must die for her mother's actions," Hildoara stated.

  King Eduard scoffed.

  "Blaming children for the crimes of their parents. This is exactly why the sea elves need to be conquered. Left on their own, they would cause far too great harm," he said.

  "And I bet you would want to conquer them even without their sense of "justice,"" I commented.

  Wait, I commented? Fuck! I didn't mean to say that part out loud!"

  "Of course," King Eduard replied as if it was only natural. "It is the duty of a king to expand his kingdom's borders when there is a vulnerable target, something the previous ruler of Vandalland neglected to do. The sea elves are weak and isolated, prime for conquest."

  His gaze then fell upon me. An intrigued expression came over it.

  "I suspect you will start your own conquest of the sea elves when you become King of Vandalland," King Eduard said.

  That...for my modern mind, pointless wars of conquest are wrong. But it also might be expected of me as the King of Vandalland. Gods know that their last ruler was shit. They'll probably want a good king after that, as well as a good queen in Hildoara. Maybe I can change their minds about war? But if not...well, there's something else that could cause war with the sea elves.

  "If they keep going on about Joanna, I might have to go to war with them," I admitted before thinking. "I'm not abandoning anyone I care about. And if the sea elves don't like that, they can complain to my sword."

  Queen Hildoara gave me a sympathetic look before speaking up.

  "I've started developing a counterspy network to deal with Motteburh's agents. My father's anti-intelligence was woefully inadequate," she said.

  "Under Duke Armand, Greenrivers' spy network is undefeatable," Queen Hildoara bragged.

  King Eduard nodded.

  "They are how we found out about Motteburh's active involvement in influencing Greenrivers nobles, after all," he stated. "And it has yet to find any Motteburh agents trying to influence sea elves. They appear to still be sticking to their plan with the nobility. At least, for now."

  But how long would that last? It was only a matter of time before the Motteburh nobles tried their plan in Greenrivers. And they might better be able to stoke up resentment amongst the sea elves here than in Vandalland, considering how Queen Hildoara was merely King Eduard's ally while...well, the rest is obvious.

  "Saint Gustav, how much do you know about spycraft?" King Eduard asked. "Perhaps you could be of use in this matter?"

  All eyes were on me. It was time...

  ...to disappoint them.

  "I know to keep spies of certain nationalities away from women unless you want a bunch of bastard children running around," I answered. "Or unless the spies are infertile."

  To my utter shock, everyone seemed to have a sense of revelation come over their faces.

  "Well, I didn't know that," Hildoara said.

  "I will admit that I did not either," King Eduard stated. "It seems that while Saint Gustav does not know much about spies, he at least knows a few things."

  Well, that worked out better than I thought it would.