Such was the pattern: each time my sister found a lover, I ran away from home again and again. I knew exactly how much my actions unsettled and hurt her—no, precisely because I knew, I deliberately repeated behaviors that caused her distress, solely to draw her attention back from her lover to myself. When she broke up with them, I felt relief, but at the same time my sense of guilt only deepened.

  I want to stop doing this.

  Even as I think so, I can’t.

  If Roman and I had not been sisters, I wouldn’t have suffered like this. How much easier it would have been if she and I had met as complete strangers. To walk through the city arm in arm as her lover, to press our lips together, to tangle our bodies in pyful intimacy, to fall asleep beside her—how many times have I dreamed of such days? And yet that happiness exists only inside my head. It is a sweet fantasy that will never fall into my hands.

  After hearing my story, Océan and Cire exchanged gnces, searching for words. Turning to the two of them, I voiced a wish that I knew, deep down, I shouldn’t be making.

  “This is sudden, but… could you let me stay at one of your pces for a while?”

  I knew that doing so would hurt my sister again. But today, I had no confidence that I could face her. If I saw her face, I was sure I would end up hurling cruel words at her once more. Others might shake their heads in disbelief at how many times I repeated the same mistake. Even so, it felt like this was the only option left to ease, even slightly, the anger and helplessness twisting inside me.

  “You can come to my pce.”

  After a brief pause, Océan answered.

  “My mom’s pretty loud, and I’ve got twin sisters, but there’s a room for you. You can stay as long as you want.”

  Then Cire hurriedly added,

  “Avery, if you get tired of staying at Océan’s for a few days, you can come to my house too. My parents are hardly ever home, and I’ll be alone for a while. We have a rge library, and the staff cooks, so you can order whatever you like. Oh—and there’s a theater room in the basement as well.”

  Instead of being annoyed, both of them accepted my request without hesitation, which honestly surprised me. If anything, they looked like they wanted me to come. Feeling the unspoken pressure in their intense gazes—each silently urging me to choose their home—I almost burst out ughing, the heaviness of the conversation suddenly lifted.

  “All right. I’ll stay at Océan’s pce first, and then at Cire’s.”

  “It’s a promise. Absolutely.”

  I hooked my little finger around the one Cire held out.