Taoreta's POV

  After that embarrassing moment with Kishi and me, we both went our separate ways after talking some more on our way to our rooms.

  It had been fun talking to Kishi. Being around him made my mind calm.

  But now I was lying on my bed.

  Over the years, I had realized that he was very observant and didn't hold back when it came to my sake.

  Almost like a protective parent of some kind. But I honestly hadn't wanted to view him that way. The reason for that was BECAUSE of the parent example I had thought about.

  I had never been too attached to my parents.

  I kept thinking about my dad running away and my mom being a—well... horrible.

  All my mom had cared about was herself and her sex life.

  I understood the urges to be with a guy since it had been a long time. I totally got that. Human beings not only have emotions but hormones as well. And once they're turned on, you either do things that could be regrettable or something that you thought of until the session is over.

  I understood all of that.

  But what I would NEVER understand—or want to for that matter— was neglecting your own child JUST for a man you met in a bar. Not only that, my mom had been with many MANY men who also had a wife or girlfriend. I couldn't STAND the idea of going out with someone when they already had someone.

  It was just so weird to me.

  Not only that, she had even smiled at me in the most evil way possible and thrown me out on the streets.

  Didn't she realize how heartbroken that was for a 7-year-old who had looked up to you despite your shortcomings? How much I had wanted to bond, have quality time as mother and daughter, trying to show you my dream of being either a scientist or even an inventor which SHE and my dad had been.

  My mom had been a bright scientist who used to work with the government if my memory served me right.

  I used to be interested in her craft, so I always asked her what was 'this' or 'that' whenever she poured these smelly chemicals in our basement.

  She used to give me the warmest smile that I had ever seen.

  I also sometimes took notes, copying whatever she was writing in hers. We both used to ugh, get angry and even cry whenever something didn't work.

  'Remember, Taoreta. Always ask questions if you don't understand something. Even if it could be the simplest one, it doesn't hurt to ask. And if that person doesn't know it then it's fine. Learning is asking questions. And sometimes, it's doing actions as well. Never forget that!'

  Those were my mother's words before she changed a few months ter.

  I really hadn't understood why she had suddenly changed from this kind and warm-hearted person to this listless beast that went around drinking, leaving her daughter at home with no food to eat, and bringing a man home, NOT locking her doors, and having the nerve to yell at me for being 'defective'.

  I was young back then, so I didn't really get it and always bmed myself. But now I knew the truth.

  As for my dad, he was never home.

  Always busy working on inventions that should help the government or a third party.

  It was all a blur at this point, and I never really studied him like that. My mom was the main 'heroine' in my story.

  I mostly looked up to her while admiring my father's way of creating stuff from scratch.

  I guessed that was where I got my skill for creating certain things, like repairing a broken phone I found a few days after I got kicked out of the house.

  But then someone stole it from me, kicked my face, and then ran away.

  I instinctively touched under my neck, stroking my throat. I could still feel the wind being knocked out of me as the world was spinning, and I wished to die out there if this was what it meant to be human.

  If I had known that this was what my life was meant to be, I would have taken it when my mom started to abandon me.

  But... I knew I wasn't going to do it.

  As a child, I was scared. Of course, I wouldn't take the one thing that was precious to me... my life.

  But now, it had been repced by something else.

  'Here! Food for you!'

  Those were the words of a bright boy who pced a pte of food in front of me when I was living in that small box I called "home".

  I used to eat scraps from the dumpsters and maybe steal from the nearby restaurant when no one was looking.

  But that was the first time I met Kishi.

  With this red-haired boy smiling at me, I felt very irritated. The reason was because of him. I saw him and his family smiling. He had something that I didn't.

  And he probably didn't realize it, but over the course of a few months, his family was taking the same path that led to the restaurant I used to steal from.

  I wasn't sure if it was a coincidence or even just fate, but it was indeed strange.

  A couple of weeks after its grand opening, the food portions were getting bigger. And now that I thought about it, they stopped chasing me on the second day...

  I hadn't been paying attention but... I saw a figure running down a stairway inside that restaurant.

  But after those couple of days, the boy suddenly appeared.

  He brought the pte closer and sat in front of me. Naturally, as someone who didn't believe in any human being anymore, I tossed the food away and turned away from the boy.

  'I guess you didn't like that one, huh...'

  He wasn't mad or even frustrated. Kishi was simply disappointed. Not at me for ruining the food that he brought me but at himself for not bringing something that I liked. Well, to his eyes, at least.

  I slowly turned around, trying to see his reaction. I wanted to see his rage or even crying eyes. But... he simply looked at me and smiled.

  'Alright! Let's try again tomorrow!'

  Kishi slowly pced a bottle of water and took the pte and ran away, waving his hand at me.

  'I'll be back tomorrow!'

  He'd be back tomorrow, he said.

  Back then, I thought he was an idiot. How could someone be happy when someone else spilled their food? Their precious time and resources were shattered right in front of his eyes. The very thing that was meant to solve someone else's problem. Yet he smiled and ran away like the kid he was.

  Honestly, I was impressed yet angry. Someone like that wasn't the type that would back down so easily. Even as a child, I knew that as a fact.

  'I'll simply drive him away...'

  I muttered in a dry voice. My throat felt horrible. It was almost as if a piece of wood was scraping my bare skin, making it so uncomfortable. It was like my brain was trying to comprehend the unknown pain I was experiencing.

  I then looked at the water bottle and roughly opened it.

  As I drank it, the water spilled, making a mess everywhere. But I simply didn't care and tossed the bottle aside. Once I cleansed my thirst, I went inside my box.

  Then, day after day, he came back to meet me.

  I did the same thing as I did on the first day, and he did too. He pced a bottle of water next to me and ran off to meet me the following day.

  At that point, it became the norm.

  Then one day...

  'I got it! Here!'

  Kishi gently pced the pte in front of me. This time, when I was about to toss it aside, I saw a small note in front of the food.

  I gently opened it up, and it read: "Thank you."

  I slowly looked up at Kishi with a surprised look.

  'One of our customers provided an ingredient today! The dy said that it was SO special that even a child would be happy!'

  Kishi said as he brought the food closer.

  'Here! I tasted it earlier and it was delicious! A home-made cooking! I wonder if that woman had a child?'

  I looked at the food that Kishi brought. When I took a closer look, it was macaroni and cheese. It was simple, obviously, but the way it was cooked, the way there was a hint of barbecue sauce at the side, it had a familiarity to it.

  Kishi handed me a spoon and left a bottle of water right next to me.

  I was hesitant at first. I didn't know why, but the way this food was cooked was almost nostalgic. But hunger got the better of me, so I took a spoonful and slowly hovered it towards my mouth. I opened wide but paused for a moment. The scent of the cheese filled my nostrils as if it was welcoming me to a safe space. When I got used to the scent, I continued the motion and took a bit of the food, then tightened my eyes shut.

  Then.

  As if heaven finally reached earth, my eyes widened. I then had a fshback of my mother cooking and my father sitting next to me at the table. I was kicking my feet, excited to see what I would eat for tonight's dinner.

  Three minutes had passed, and my mother pced a pte in front of me. Of course, she also put some napkins around my neck to keep my shirt from getting dirty. I scooped up the food that my mother cooked for me and took a bite out of it.

  Then, as if the world was sparkling, my eyes shone with delight. I continued to eat this new and amazing food. I was wondering what this texture was that made this food so delicious. To that day, I was wondering, hoping to eat it again. But my parents became busier in the days that followed.

  Fsh forward to me eating the food that Kishi gave me, and I realized it was the same texture. I slowly felt my tears forming in my eyes. As if a dam was getting ready to burst, and the water would flow down the mountainside.

  So that mystery food I ate back then was this thing called 'macaroni and cheese', huh. That realization made me feel happy... yet it also made me feel sad.

  I tried to hold it back, but the tears fell all at the same time. I then started to cry over the food as I hugged myself in grief.

  'Mommy.... mommy!' I shouted out of instinct.

  This was the very food my mom would cook.

  Kishi panicked and looked around.

  'I-I'm sorry! I didn't mean to make you cry like that!'

  Kishi looked awkwardly at me. He was hesitant but managed to at least rest his hands on my shoulders. That made me look up, my nose runny from all of that crying.

  'I'm not sure why you're crying. Maybe it's too personal, and frankly, it's not my business. But still! Don't worry! I'll come visit you every day! That way, you won't feel lonely anymore!'

  Kishi announced with a bright smile.

  I suddenly felt my head becoming a bit lighter as if the heaviness of guilt and regret was being lifted by gentle hands. The more I stared at this boy, the safer I felt. I wasn't ready to fully trust him. But at the very least, I wanted to have someone to talk to.

  That's how I felt back then.

  With tears still in my eyes, I slowly nodded and then tried to speak. But my mouth was full of tears. I felt like I was in the middle of the ocean and drowning. I didn't think I could speak in full sentences without stuttering.

  But despite that, I started to speak.

  'I...I-I...um...!'

  I looked downwards. As I thought... the words wouldn't come out. I couldn't even thank him for doing this. I knew he didn't mean to, but it did bring light into the darkness of my very soul. My mind and heart were finally becoming a bit lighter.

  I couldn't really be on board with his excitement, but I would at least try to speak to him every now and then.

  At least, that's what I thought back then.

  'I'll be back tomorrow with more food and water! Also, a bnket to sleep warm at night! I wish I could take you with me, but I can't force you to do anything you don't want to! So we'll do it one step at a time!'

  Kishi slowly stood up and turned around.

  'Well, I'll see you ter!'

  He was leaving. The boy was leaving me.

  That was my thought process when I saw that moment from back then. I instinctively grabbed hold of his shirt.

  'U-um...!'

  The boy looked back at me in surprise.

  This made me flinch in fear and put my hands to my side.

  'S-sorry...'

  I apologized.

  'Ah!'

  The boy froze in pce. He then started to blush and looked away.

  'There's nothing to be sorry about...'

  He then looked at me with a nervous smile.

  'Ah, that's right! We didn't introduce ourselves!'

  Kishi slowly walked up to me and then gently patted my orange hair.

  'That'll be our next topic tomorrow! So eat up and get ready!'

  This made my eyes shine brightly. Kishi slowly stepped back and then turned around. He would be leaving for real this time.

  'Bye-bye!'

  Kishi waved at me and started to head home. And without my knowledge, I waved back at him, with another surprising thing.

  'B...bye-bye...'

  I said it out of my own mouth. I touched it. I was so shocked. I didn't mean to do it, but I did. I said 'bye' to a complete stranger.

  Inside my heart, I felt happy. I didn't know why... but I was happy. I stared at the food; it was surprisingly warm. I picked it up, took a spoon, and grabbed a couple of macaronis. I could feel my cheeks burning. I took another bite. I was feeling so grateful for this very meal.

  My frozen heart was finally defrosting.

  And from that point on... I waited for that boy....

  And that's one of my best memories.

  Coming back to reality after daydreaming about the good old days, I exhaled in relief and then slowly smiled. There were many tales to think about ever since I was a kid. Those who were involved in Kishi. But I pushed that to the back of my head and sat up.

  I held my stomach. Tapping it out of instinct. I closed my eyes and smiled.

  "Now I'm hungry. Not as hungry as back then, though."

  I reassured myself that I had been through worse and started to get myself comfortable to lie down to sleep—

  Knock! Knock!

  Ah.

  Just when I was about to rest, I heard my door knock.

  I thought about ignoring the noise and just going to sleep, but that was just the old me lingering after thinking about the past.

  Kishi wouldn't appreciate me being mean to others, so I wouldn't.

  I wasn't a mean person per se, but I never viewed myself as 'good' either. I was just human. A human who was biased when it came to the things she cared for.

  I didn't mind helping, but—

  Knock! Knock!

  "A-ah! Sorry! I'm coming!" I made a dash towards the door in a panic.

  With Kishi being the motivation to be a good person, I finally decided to be that and headed towards the door.

  Once I reached there, I scratched the side of my cheeks with a hint of them burning. I assumed I was blushing from embarrassment.

  I grabbed the knob and opened the door.

  "I'm sorry! I just—h-huh?"

  The rest of the words got caught in my throat. I saw the person who was knocking on my door. It was Kishi. The person who saved me back then. The person who managed to see me for who I am. The person... who meant a lot to me.

  "K...Kishi?" I whispered.

  "Hey! Sorry for interrupting, Tao." Kishi ughed nervously as he was holding something in front of him. It seemed to be a tray with two ptes full of food and a couple of water bottles on it. Not only that, I recognized the type of food he picked.

  It was macaroni and cheese with barbecue on the side.

  When I saw that, I could feel my very heart pumping. I tried to calm it, but it wouldn't listen. As if I were in a trance, I kept staring at it.

  "Kishi... what's...?" I whispered, then looked at him.

  "I figured that you might be starving yourself for the 100th time since you're pretty stubborn about certain things just like me, so I decided to cook this up just for the two of us!" Kishi said shyly.

  "Kishi... I..." I slowly felt a smile forming. I felt my cheeks burning red, but only this time it wasn't from embarrassment. I wasn't sure what this feeling was, but it was a great one. It was like those times we always hugged each other. That warmth that kept me up at night. Making me think about this very guy who was always with me.

  "Kishi.... thank you. Thank you!" I felt tears falling once again, just like back then.

  "H-hey! Are you okay?!" Kishi panicked. He almost made the food fall, but I helped him catch it.

  "I'm fine. Thank you... Thank you for being with me.. Kishi..." I whispered as I slowly lifted up the tray to help him carry it.

  "You don't need to thank me, you know. Didn't I always say that I'll be there for you? That way, you'll never be lonely again." Kishi said sweetly.

  That made my heart skip a beat. I then slowly ughed out loud.

  "Ehehehe!" My whole body was on fire. Now all I could think about was Kishi. All my worries had faded out of existence. With this new mood, I carried the tray myself and had a bounce in my step!

  "Come on! These won't eat themselves, you know!" I shouted like a child as I ran towards my bed.

  I heard the door shut as Kishi chased after me.

  "Hold on, Tao! Those are hot! You'll get burned!" Kishi's voice was full of worry. But for some reason, that made me very happy.

  Kishi was one of a kind. He was the greatest friend I could ask for. He was my being. My very soul. My reason for life. Nothing else mattered as long as I had him by my side.

  We both sat on my bed. He picked up the food and handed me my share. My cheeks didn't cool down. This was like a virus, and I felt my head being a bit too light. But it wasn't from any headache. I think I was on cloud nine right now!

  I picked up my spoon and pointed it at Kishi.

  "Kishi! Kishi! Say 'Aahh!'" I said in the most childish voice.

  "W-what are you doing?!" Kishi asked while being shy. This made me pout and bring the spoon closer to his mouth.

  "Oh, come on! We did this before, back in prison!" I made a puffy face.

  "I know, but..." Kishi's whole face was now red.

  "Please? For me?" I whispered shyly.

  "..." Kishi closed his eyes, conflicted by my actions. In all honesty, I had no idea why I was acting this way. Maybe it was my head being light that was messing with my brain a little bit. Oh well!

  Seeing him this way made him look kinda adorable!

  "...You can be mean sometimes, Tao..." Kishi whispered.

  Without even waiting for my answer, Kishi brought his mouth closer, took the full spoon, and ate the macaroni. He chewed it and then looked away from me.

  I then leaned forward and opened my mouth.

  "Ah!" I said as I started to wait for Kishi to feed me.

  "Honestly, Tao..." Kishi grabbed a spoonful and lifted it up near my mouth. I closed my eyes and took the full spoon of the food. I ate and beamed up in happiness.

  "Soooo good!" I said in excitement. I opened my eyes and saw Kishi smiling at me.

  "Haha, I'm gd that you like it, Tao." Kishi then wiped my mouth with his thumb. He then licked it. Kishi smacked his lips and then nodded. "Just the right amount of cheese!"

  "Mm-hmm!" I nodded.

  And so, we both took turns feeding each other. After the meal was done, we decided to spend the rest of the afternoon chatting and bringing up old memories.

  As I thought.

  Being around Kishi was very fun! Nothing in this dark world could bring me down as long as I protected his precious smile!

  With that as the reminder, whatever this mission would be, I wouldn't back down if it meant protecting the person I deeply cared about.

  This heart—this very soul—it was all for him. It was for his sake.

  And I was sure he felt the same way about me.