Chapter 3: The Major

  Despite my promise in the restaurant, I didn’t immediately change my life. I started the next morning by checking my emails. I had two: the first was an email from work approving time off that I’d never applied for. The second was an appointment for a job interview.

  I shrugged. Anything had to be better than working at the call centre right? I picked the most corporate outfit I could think of, and hid my magical girl accessories as best I could, fed Feather Locklear and cleaned out her cage, before doing light makeup and heading to the interview.

  When I got to the location, I triple checked the address, and frowned. It wasn’t very far from the company where I was currently working, but the address was right across the road, in a dingy strip club, “Midnight Mirage” or something like that. I quadruple checked the email. If this was a trafficking setup, or a prank, or a weird blackmail thing, they really had to up their game.

  My phone rang, and I picked it up. Fucking Elias. He had to have pulled some bullshit.

  “You’re a real asshole, you know that?”

  “Okay, I can see that this looks bad, but hear me out-

  “I’m not becoming a stripper, Elias. Fuck you, you prick! You were always the biggest asshole on that squad, and if you think that this is funny, you’ve got another thing coming!”

  “Look, I’ve got a business deal going down, and I need you with me. You coming in, or you going back to the office?”

  “Hell no, you come out here, and face me!”

  I hung up the phone, and was about to walk away when Elias came out, hat in hand, followed by a dark-skinned woman in corporate attire, early 50’s, with a military stride and dark sunnies. Elias looked panicked, and I couldn’t read the woman’s expression, but it didn’t matter. I crossed the street, intent on giving Elias the thumping of a lifetime. Before I could however, the corporate woman picked me up and half-dragged me inside the club.

  I’d never been in a strip joint before, and I’d never had any desire to be in one. The lights were on and the place was silent. I struggled vainly, but the woman’s grip was like a vice as I was taken to a back room.

  The lights went on. There were a couple of seats, and I realized, with horror, that this had to be the “VIP” section. I shuddered to think of what creepy bullshit might have gone on here over the years, as the other woman released me. She shook her head, and Elias sat on the couch, and set a bag of glass on the table, still sparking with alien energy. The woman snorted.

  “You really know how to pick a venue, Beltran.”

  “Yeah, well, I needed an office. We’re not doing this in your car, and it turns out signing the Official Secrets Act at age 13 ain’t great for your career prospects. So, we’re doing this in the champagne room. Amy, meet Major Jones. She’s going to be our new boss.”

  “Whatever, Beltran. I’m here to do business, not rehash old times. So, you told me you fought an actual monster?”

  “I fought Detritus, thank you very much. He didn’t contribute that much-“ I interjected, but the Major shot me a withering glare.

  “Not what I care about. If monsters are coming back to Port Moonstone, then we’ve got a serious problem on our hands.”

  “Any idea what could be causing it?”

  “No idea. Every theory I’ve got, there’s a counter-argument. But I figure, what if we’re not interested in finding causes? What if you’re just looking to get back to what you’re good at?”

  “But how?”

  The woman reached into her handbag, and pulled out a worn piece of paper, smoothed it over on the table. It looked like a blueprint of some sort.

  “Our central problem is this: we need a whole lot of resources, the ability to consolidate and use those resources efficiently, easily, and with as little stickybeaking as possible from Canberra. So, I’m setting up a corporation.”

  “Right. So what is it we’re actually doing?”

  “The corporation has two arms. One is our security division. You’ll do the same shit you did back when you were teenagers, except this time, you’ll actually get paid for it. The second arm is where the real money is: The merchandise.”

  I snorted, with as much derision as I could muster. “You want us to have merchandise?”

  “Yep. Magical girl crap and giant robots aren’t cheap, but they’re easy to design merch for and easy to market. We sell that, you get a cut for usage of your likeness, boom, we make money, and we can focus on the mission: Fighting monsters and making Port Moonstone a little bit less shit.”

  I leaned back, but skooched away, remembering that I was on a strip club’s furniture. “So, go corpo, and I get to be a Crystalline Sister again?”

  “And I get Puma One back, right?” Elias interjected, looking hopeful. The Major shook her head.

  Unauthorized duplication: this tale has been taken without consent. Report sightings.

  “Not quite. Firstly, since this will be a combined arms force, and it’s not a single-sex team anymore, we’re putting the names together: You’re a part of the Crystalline Initiative now. Secondly, Puma One got scrapped, so you’re going to get a new mech, Beltran.”

  “Okay. Fine, Puma Two then.”

  “Nope. Someone else is getting that one. Now, if you’ll just sign this contract, you work for me, and you two can leave strip clubs and call centres behind.”

  I looked over the contract that the Major presented me with. I was desperate, but I was wary. How could I trust this woman I’d only just met? And why didn’t this woman have an office of her own?

  “What about the others?”

  “The other who?”

  “I mean, the Crystalline Sisters were a team. It wouldn’t feel right if they didn’t come with me. Would we be able to bring them in again?”

  “Depends. I know we’re not bringing in Codenames: Pearl and Opal: They’ve fucked off to have a weird mutually toxic lesbian thing in the Czech Republic. Topaz turned me down ahead of time: she’s either working for the CSIRO, or for Racing Queensland, something to do with drug tests. So that leaves Emerald, maybe, or Jet. If I find other magical girls, I’ll introduce you. But remember: This isn’t the Crystalline Sisters. This is the Crystalline Initiative: combined arms means you’ll be working together, training together. That means you’ll need to meet and familiarize yourself with the mech pilots as well. That also means playing nice with Beltran at least until I can find some other pilots for the other mechs. Beltran, can I trust you to be professional?”

  “Sure, but all due respect, why are we combining the initiatives?”

  “You two were apart for the same reason that a lot of Catholic schools are single-sex: Can’t have little Timmy knocking up little Suzy now can we? Now, we’re all adults here. ‘Long as there’s no kids or animals involved, I really don’t give a shit, so do what you want.”

  I hesitated before I signed. Combined arms? Training with Elias? I’d been a magical girl, not a mercenary. I couldn’t shake the feeling that this was shadier than a beach umbrella. But I saw Elias sign without hesitation, and I couldn’t shake the feeling that this was the only way to get back to being the woman I needed to be. Shaking, I put pen to paper, signed my signature. The Major looked over.

  “Congratulations. You two work for me now. I’ll call you when you’re needed.”

  The Major left and it was official: I was a professional magical girl again. I breathed a cautious sigh of relief, and pulled out my phone, drafting a professional resignation letter. Elias frowned. “What are you doing?”

  “Writing my resignation.”

  “You literally just started here.”

  “Not for this job, you drongo. For the call centre.”

  “Right. Can I ask a personal question?”

  “Depends.”

  “You had the magical girl stuff, right? Why didn’t you just keep going with that?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Exactly what I said. I mean, Puma One was technically property of the Australian Defence Force, so I couldn’t exactly take it with me. What about you? I mean, if you can transform like that, then-“

  “Dammit Elias, it’s not tied to the umbrella or anything. You get the powers, then the trinkets, not the other way around.”

  “I see. So the mere sight of me, just somehow made you able to turn into a magical girl. I see how it is” Elias said, grinning this infuriating grin.

  “Don’t even think about it, Elias.”

  “Sorry I asked, then. Damn.”

  “I don’t know you, Elias. I think we’ve spoken once, and that was because our schools decided to do a combined formal to save money, and you know damn well what happened after that. So, as much as I appreciate you introducing me to the Major, we’re just co-workers. Actually, correction: co-workers, where one of us thinks the other is an absolute dick. So if nobody minds, I’m going to get the hell out of this place before I catch an STD. Seriously, I should not be subjecting my pure Maltese body to this sinful furniture. ”

  And with that, I left, leaving Elias speechless, as I turned on a heel and walked out the club, making a mental note to burn everything that I’d worn here. Which was annoying, because I’d had to really scrimp and save for it. The State Government could be really cheap bastards when they wanted to be. I made sure to head out the back way: no way the Crystal Guardian Amethyst could be caught dead walking anywhere near a strip club.

  I spent the rest of the day window shopping, then printed off my resignation letter once I got home. Why would Elias suddenly show an interest in my life? In the entire time I’d known him, I’d known him as a mouth: a trash talker even as he blasted monsters to smithereens. He totally lacked any sense of finesse or humility. I’d never enjoyed that kind of energy or aggression. I’d spoken one sentence to him, at my high school formal, telling him to leave my high school boyfriend alone and to mind his business. I didn’t hate Elias per se. I just didn’t care about him. So the fact that he’d been responsible for reawakening the Crystal Guardian Amethyst was annoying as all get out. I made a second note to myself: I would have to find some other way to awaken my powers. Because I couldn’t let my entire worth rest on the shoulders of the kind of man who invites girls to do business deals in strip clubs, and picks fights at my high school formal.

  My phone buzzed again. It was Elias. This arsehole didn’t know when to quit now, did he?