Chapter 4

  To be honest, I once had a job as a copywriter at an advertising company. The problem is that I'm not too fond of the Confucian stuff, and I think all that "non-virtuous things should not be seen or spoken" is just feudal poison, rubbish, dog farts. So when I saw my supervisor's finger playing a piano-like motion on the plump 'butt' of the female colleague to my left, I was shocked and stared for several seconds; the next day, I foolishly brought it up again with the female colleague to my right (my intention was just to show off my humor and get her attention, haha!). Then...the result...it wasn't until a few months later when I got fired that I realized playing piano was just a small matter - it turned out the female colleague on the right was often used for "playing the violin" (crazy sweat!). Having learned from this experience, I finally understood the profound meaning behind Master Kong's words - they are universally applicable.

  Later, I had many more job interview experiences. There was even one time when it seemed like I was very close to succeeding. It was a publishing house, and a beautiful female editor took my resume, praised me enthusiastically and politely, then discussed some very profound literary theories with me, expressing great appreciation for my talent. Finally, she very kindly saw me out the door, asking me to wait for further notice. So I waited confidently outside the gate of that unit for many rounds, until a few days later, I was shocked to find my beautifully designed resume in the trash heap at the gate of that publishing house. It really broke my heart.

  There are many more examples like this, too numerous to mention.

  Of course, even if I completely can't make it in this city, as a graduate of a third-rate university's Chinese department, going back to a small county town to be a middle school teacher should still be no problem, but for me, that would be a failure - a complete and utter failure.

  ……

  I'm working out on my 'bed'. A pair of the largest dumbbells - 30 kilograms each - are being wielded by me, making the air swirl. Seeing my handsome and masculine face in the mirror across from me, my well-proportioned body, and developed muscles, I crack a slight smile - by the way, many beauties say that my smile has a special masculine charm, to die for.

  Then Linzi pushed the door and came in, with her long hair falling on her shoulders, skin as white as snow, almond eyes sparkling with spring, a face as smooth as jade, and curves that were both subtle and alluring. She walked to my bedside, gently stroking my robust chest muscles, smiling sweetly. It was truly "a smile that could charm a hundred beauties, leaving the six palaces' ladies-in-waiting without a trace of color".

  "Wow, Onii-chan... you're really amazing!!" Rinko leaned in close, her face pressed against my chest, her cheeks burning hot, making my heart beat thump-thump.

  Her fingertips wandered lightly over me, like a spring breeze caressing, making me feel numb and itchy. Her hand went further down, stopping at my... My body shook violently, a surge of heat rushing from my lower abdomen to the top of my head, I felt my endurance had reached its limit.

  Lingzi straddled me, her sleeping gown slipping down, her 'jade' body fully exposed before my eyes... "Darling, am I beautiful?" she murmured sweetly.

  I let out a tiger's roar, and could no longer hold back, flipping over to pin her beneath me, grabbing onto her...

  ……

  That's enough! That's enough!!!!!

  I leapt up with a slap on the table, my anger uncontrollable.

  ……

  Is this my work? Is this what I use to make a living? Is this the contribution of an ambitious young man to society? *** Ah! Degeneration! Shame!

  If the contents of the ellipsis are filled in and posted online, I estimate that before the editor can even react, the Public Security Bureau will have already arrested me. They'll carry out a "kill first, ask questions later" policy - no need for a trial, immediate execution, thoroughly eliminating this reactionary, poisonous, yellow... counter-revolutionary from both body and spirit.

  My heart is cold as ice.

  But - but I can only write this much, which should be considered a relatively high-risk sequelae of water flooding and brick fighting. Those sharp-tongued articles with their open knives and secret arrows, their sarcastic laughter and angry curses like daggers and spears, have already drained all the connotation from me. What's left is just these messy dregs. Now no matter when it is, as soon as I start typing, my brain starts yelling "Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!" and "Oh! Oh! Oh!", and there's simply no way to control it.

  I'm done for.

  I thought of four words - Jiang Lang's talent is exhausted.

  ……

  The game icon in the bottom right corner is flashing, and autumn leaves are falling on me.

  As soon as the window was opened, autumn leaves stood in front of the city gate, with a heroic and domineering appearance. A large crowd surrounded the city, scolding and cursing in all directions.

  "What's wrong, wife?" I leaned in close to Akane and whispered to her.

  "Pig! Can't you see for yourself?"

  I'm such a cheap person, no matter how bad my mood is, as long as I see Autumn coming over, I'll immediately run over with a smile on my face, shaking my head and swaying my body. Even if I get scolded to the point of having no nose or face left, I wouldn't care, and I'd do it again and again without any complaints or regrets.

  Actually, many times after hanging up, I would deeply despise myself, and even feel that only the image of those slaves in the movies could describe my ugliness. After despising myself, I would warn myself to be cool in front of her. But there's no way, as soon as I see her, the ice melts immediately, winter turns into "spring", and all my determination and hard work are thrown away.

  Later, I also figured it out, maybe there's a hidden masochistic tendency in my nature, but whatever, after all, this is just a game. If you can't indulge yourself in the game, then what's the point of playing? Might as well become a monk and face the wall.

  Of course, Akane is not a sadist, she just has a 'sexy' tone when scolding people - actually, she rarely curses others in the game, those things were all said by me on her behalf. It should be said that unless necessary, she even rarely talks to other people - this point makes Akane look really cool, absolutely different from those chatty female players. So, this is also one of the reasons why many people think she's a cross-dresser.

  The internet is like that, even if you know someone's temperament and personality better than your own fingers, you still can't recognize them. Maybe the beautiful girl you just met online is actually a black woman from Ethiopia, or maybe it's the neighbor's dog (if it could type). Therefore, even though I've been following Akira for a year, I still can't answer her gender question. However, occasionally from her unintentionally revealed caring words, I can feel the delicate warmth unique to women - of course, this is rare. Most of the time, she yells at me loudly.

  ………

  Now, my wife - the transvestite Akiha (sweat!) is proudly confronting several hundred people, shouting at me: "Did you bring the brick? Smash these bitches to death!"

  It's that dead sB bug again, probably trying to find its way back to yesterday's scene, bringing a large group of people. His younger brothers were there, cursing and swearing nonstop. This lively scene was quite a sight, with the two big bosses of the old and new forces fighting, surrounded by a sea of onlookers, and all the big shots in the district had arrived.

  I'm delighted. I love this job of talking nonsense and throwing stinky "chicken" eggs! Besides, we're not at a disadvantage. I stood in front of that SB and pointed to his nose: "Who's the trash, you know best. Two people fighting three is an ambush, what about ten or more of you fighting two of us? You think you can be a boss just by imitating others? Go ahead and pee!"

  It seems that this guy's brick-throwing skills are also quite impressive. "Who 'pants' file is broken and you're exposed?" S B Chong said disdainfully, "We have more people killing you, is it considered an ambush? That's called murder! We're going to kill you! If you don't have the strength to come from behind, that's what's called an ambush! Learn a thing or two, kid!" Hey, not bad, really talented!

  "Go!" I said, while sending a private chat to Akira with a "?"

  She immediately replied with an "!"

  I laughed.