Kidnapped By My Mum

  "It's just a little errand."

  She says once we're in the car

  As another trip to the shops

  Instead crosses Bristol, near and far.

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  I feel like a knight errant

  But what then is my quest?

  By the third detour

  My patience is not its best

  "We'll just grab a takeaway."

  Becomes three hours down the pub

  It's so terribly hard to protest

  These tokens of her love

  When I get home I'm exhausted

  And the clock says the day is done

  There's nothing quite for killing plans

  Like being kidnapped by my mum.