Intern’s Log: I Got a Vacation, But At What Cost?

  Date: Redacted

  Intern ID: Reynolds, J. (I think I’m being punished.)

  After months of tracking genetically engineered war animals, dodging alien conspiracy cover-ups, and trying (and failing) to prevent a rogue super-intelligent cat from hijacking a space program, my boss finally called me into his office and said:

  "Reynolds. You need a break."

  And for a moment—a brief, shining moment—I thought maybe, just maybe, the universe had finally decided to give me a win.

  Then he hit me with:

  "You’re restricted to the continental U.S. No flights. No trains. No rental cars. And if you try to take a long-distance bus, we’ll know."

  I AM ON HOUSE ARREST.

  I don’t know what they think I’m going to do, but clearly, the government has decided I am now a liability.

  And as if that wasn’t bad enough—

  My mom found out.

  And she has plans.

  Phase One: The Phone Call That Doomed Me

  Less than an hour after my boss told me I was being “strongly encouraged” to take time off, my phone rang.

  Mom.

  I stared at the screen for a good thirty seconds, debating whether to answer. Because I already knew.

  I KNEW.

  But I answered anyway, because I’m not a coward.

  "Sweetheart!" she said, way too cheerful. "I heard you have some time off!"

  I froze. How did she already know?!

  "Who told you that?"

  "Oh, you know how things get around!" she said, which is NOT AN ANSWER.

  Then, with terrifying certainty, she said:

  "It’s been too long since you’ve visited. And while you’re here, I have someone I’d like you to meet."

  Oh.

  Oh no.

  Phase Two: The Matchmaking Setup of Doom

  "Mom," I groaned. "Please don’t do this."

  "Do what?" she asked innocently, like I hadn’t been through this exact scenario a thousand times before.

  "You know exactly what."

  "Reynolds," she said, sweet but firm, "I just worry about you. You’re always working, you never settle down, and—"

  This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it.

  Then she hit me with:

  "Wouldn’t it be nice to have someone waiting for you at home?"

  SHE HAS A MATCHMAKER INVOLVED.

  I can hear it in her voice.

  This isn’t just her. She brought in reinforcements.

  Phase Three: My Restrictions, My Doom

  So let’s recap.

  ? I finally got a vacation.

  ? I am not allowed to leave the continental U.S.

  ? I am actively discouraged from using any form of transportation beyond my own feet.

  ? My mother has arranged for me to meet "someone nice."

  And now?

  I am trapped.

  I can’t escape. The government won’t let me.

  I can’t make an excuse. My mother knows too much.

  I can’t even fake an emergency. They will literally track my every move.

  This is it.

  This is how I die.

  Phase Four: Who Is She?!

  I don’t know who my mother’s mysterious matchmaker has found for me, but I do know:

  ? She will be terrifyingly put-together.

  ? She will have a great job, great manners, and great expectations.

  ? She will be immune to my usual deflection tactics.

  ? She will absolutely be looking at me like I’m a project to fix.

  ? My mother will be watching the entire thing like a general overseeing a battle.

  And the worst part?

  There is a non-zero chance that Vicky somehow influenced this.

  Because the last time we spoke, she smirked at me and said:

  "It’s good for a man to have stability, Reynolds."

  AND THEN SHE JUST WALKED AWAY.

  I DON’T KNOW WHAT SHE MEANT.

  I DON’T KNOW IF SHE’S INVOLVED.

  BUT I KNOW SHE KNOWS SOMETHING.

  Phase Five: The Only Plan I Have

  I can’t run.

  I can’t fight it.

  I can’t pretend I’m busy.

  All I can do is show up, suffer through it, and pray to every deity available that this doesn’t turn into an even bigger disaster than my normal life.

  Because if Vicky had a hand in this match, or if my mom somehow found someone who thinks my job is "fascinating,"

  I am doomed.

  Final Thoughts

  ? I have lost all control over my life.

  ? I am being forced to meet a "nice girl" while under what is essentially government-monitored house arrest.

  ? My mom is definitely planning something bigger than she’s letting on.

  ? Vicky is somehow involved. I KNOW IT.

  ? This is going to end in disaster.

  I’ll update if I survive.

  End Log.