Intern’s Log: I Have Been Kidnapped by the Panda Men

  Date: [I Want Off This Ride]

  Intern ID: Reynolds, J. (This is beyond my ability to process.)

  So.

  I was having a moment.

  ? Evelyn and I were actually talking about the future.

  ? I was finally accepting that I had a place in this world.

  ? The Good Boys had arrived, and we were about to have real discussions.

  ? **For once, things were stable. **

  And then?

  The goddamn panda men showed up.

  And now?

  Now I am kidnapped.

  Phase One: The Moment It Went Wrong

  One minute, I was standing by the fire, deep in thought.

  The next?

  There was a sharp, distinct smell—something sickly sweet.

  I turned.

  Saw figures moving in the trees.

  Then…

  Nothing.

  Darkness.

  And now I am waking up in an unfamiliar place.

  With several very large, very armed panda men staring at me.

  Phase Two: Who the Hell Are the Panda Men?

  Alright.

  Context.

  ? China had its own uplift projects.

  ? They never officially admitted to them.

  ? **But rumors existed—about experiments with pandas.

  ? About a silent force waiting in the shadows.

  ? And apparently, that force just decided to kidnap me.

  I did not sign up for this.

  Phase Three: The Interrogation That Makes No Sense

  They did not hurt me.

  They did not threaten me.

  They just… watched.

  Then, one of them—a massive panda in a robe—finally spoke.

  "You have disrupted the balance."

  I blinked.

  "Excuse me?"

  "You have accelerated what should not be accelerated. You have invited chaos into order."

  The author's narrative has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

  I blinked harder.

  "Look, man, I do a lot of things by accident. You’re gonna have to be more specific."

  Phase Four: The Panda Men Do Not Like Bandit

  They showed me a hologram.

  It was Bandit.

  Sitting on a makeshift throne.

  Smirking.

  "This creature."

  "Yeah, that tracks."

  "He is dangerous."

  "Oh, no argument there."

  The panda narrowed his eyes.

  "You follow him."

  "No, no, he follows me. …Kind of. Look, it’s complicated."

  "He will bring war."

  "Honestly? Probably."

  "And you helped him."

  I sighed.

  "Look, do you think I planned for any of this? I was just supposed to be an intern, man."

  They did not seem impressed.

  Phase Five: They Think I Am a Problem

  ? The panda men believe in balance.

  ? They think humanity is rushing toward something unnatural.

  ? They think I am responsible.

  ? They do not know if I am the cause or just a symptom.

  And now?

  Now they are deciding what to do with me.

  I do not like this.

  Phase Six: The Escape Plan (That I Do Not Have)

  Okay.

  I have no weapons.

  I have no backup.

  I have no idea where I am.

  My only advantage?

  I know Bandit is already looking for me.

  And if I know anything about that little bastard—

  It’s that he does not take kindly to people stealing his “human.”

  So I just have to stall.

  And hope that the raccoon warlord I accidentally created comes crashing through the doors before these pandas decide to “restore balance” in a way that involves me disappearing.

  Final Thoughts (I Hate My Life)

  ? I have been kidnapped by genetically enhanced panda men.

  ? They think I am disrupting the natural order.

  ? They really do not like Bandit.

  ? I do not know what their next move is.

  ? I just have to hold out until Bandit finds me.

  I don’t know what happens next.

  But I do know this—

  If Bandit shows up, this is about to become a full-blown international incident.

  End Log.