Intern’s Log: We’re Reaching Out to the Panda Men—And I Have No Idea How Many There Are Anymore
Date: [Diplomatic Chaos]
Intern ID: Reynolds, J. (I have lost count of how many uplifted species exist.)
So.
The war council happened.
? The Good Boys confirmed something is moving in the dark.
? Zil-Vatek warned that extraterrestrials will not help us.
? The bears are already mobilizing.
? The raccoons are consolidating power.
? The lemurs are… doing whatever it is lemurs do.
? Fallen Star has joined us, which is a whole different problem.
And now?
Now we have to reach out to the pandas.
Which is a problem.
Because the Chinese government never stopped uplifting them.
And at this point?
I have no idea how many of them exist.
Phase One: The Decision to Contact the Pandas
"Alright," I muttered, staring at the map, "we need the pandas."
The room fell silent.
Bandit snorted.
"Oh? You need them now?"
"I never said I didn’t!"
"Really? Because last time they kidnapped you, you seemed pretty upset."
"BANDIT, THEY STUFFED ME IN A BLACK SITE!"
"And now you’re inviting them to the table. Funny how life works."
I hate him.
Phase Two: How Many Pandas Are There Now?
We reached out to the Chinese government.
They took two days to respond.
And when they did?
They did not send human diplomats.
They sent the pandas.
? More pandas than expected.
? More pandas than should logically exist.
? More pandas than I can emotionally process.
I leaned over to Evelyn.
"I thought there were only a few uplifted pandas."
She raised an eyebrow.
"Reynolds. That was five years ago."
Oh.
Oh no.
Phase Three: The Panda Delegation Arrives
? They arrived in complete silence.
? *They were heavily armed, but not obviously so.
? They moved with a discipline that was eerily smooth.
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? They were… too calm.
And at their head?
The same panda that had interrogated me before.
"Reynolds."
"Big guy. Uh. Hey."
"You call upon us now."
"Look, I was never against you guys—"
"You aligned with the chaos one."
We all turned to Bandit.
Who was grinning like a raccoon who had just stolen national secrets.
"Ohhh, I love that that’s my name now."
The lead panda narrowed his eyes.
"The world tilts toward destruction. You still believe he is the one to guide it?"
Bandit just raised his glass.
"Not guide it, big guy. Win it."
The room got very quiet.
And I realized something.
This wasn’t just a diplomatic meeting.
This was a philosophical divide.
Between order.
And chaos.
Between those who want to control the storm.
And those who want to ride it.
Phase Four: The War Is No Longer Just a Theory
Goldie finally spoke.
"The enemy is real."
The pandas stiffened.
"You have proof?"
The Good Boys nodded.
"It moves unseen, but it is already here," Chips confirmed.
Fallen Star studied the pandas carefully.
"You have seen this before," he said.
It wasn’t a question.
It was a statement.
The lead panda exhaled slowly.
"We suspected."
"And yet you did nothing," Goldie said, voice unreadable.
"Not nothing," the panda said.
"We grew."
Oh.
Oh no.
Phase Five: The Hidden Panda Army
"How many of you are there?" I asked.
The panda watched me.
Then, without breaking eye contact, he said—
"Enough."
That was not the answer I wanted.
That was so much worse.
Because that means they’ve been preparing for war long before we were.
And now?
Now they had a choice.
Join the fight.
Or watch us fall.
Phase Six: The Pandas Make Their Decision
The lead panda turned to his warriors.
Then to us.
"If this is the end of an age, then we will not watch from the shadows."
He stepped forward.
Placed a carved symbol onto the table.
"We fight."
Silence.
Then Bandit grinned.
"Well, now it’s a party."
God help us all.
Final Thoughts (The World Is More Dangerous Than I Thought)
? The pandas are numerous.
? They have been preparing for this moment.
? They have chosen to fight.
? I do not know what they have hidden from us.
I don’t know what happens next.
But I do know this—
We are no longer fighting alone.
End Log.
