The witch reacted first, shoving Ash behind her protectively as she stepped towards the intruder.

  “Whoa whoa whoa, that’s a great witch-hunter costume you’ve got there but you can’t be in here. If you want candy you have to stay on the porch.” She said, cutting the stranger off before she’d made it even halfway into the hall.

  The newcomer didn’t even look at her. “Stay out of this.” She snapped, eyes locked on the spider and gun raised high as she crunched her way through the Halloween candy now scattered across the hall. “That thing is a monster, a servant of evil. And it needs to be dealt with before it can alert its-”

  She stopped, presumably because she actually noticed who she was talking to, which was a taller-than-7’ incredibly jacked woman dressed as a slightly slutty witch-demon with an entirely naked cat– um, boy – hugging onto her back. Her mouth didn’t quite manage to make it shut.

  The witch winced.

  “I don’t suppose you’re here for a chocote bar?” she asked, as the wannabe-inquisitor’s eyes bugged out.

  The stranger made sort of a strangled noise which Ash suspected wasn’t actually an answer to the witch’s question.

  Quietly, and presumably just to Ash, the witch whispered, “Try not to move your ears. That will be hard to expin.”

  Wait, his ears? Oh god he had cat ears! That was why everything was so loud!

  And of course by virtue of the fact that he needed to not be thinking about them Ash could do nothing but think about them, including how they were folding back right now in a completely normal response to being threatened by some dy screaming way too loudly in an enclosed space while waving a handgun around.

  He did not want to imagine how loud it would be if that thing went off in here. Or uh, to think about the additional consequences of it going off, because he didn’t exactly like the idea of those either.

  Thankfully, the woman was still stunned, because she didn’t really seem to be taking note of minor details like the fact that his ears were feline or that he was still incapable of keeping them and his tail still. He scootched a little further behind the witch anyways, hoping his tail’s nervous twitching would at least would be better hidden behind her and also because she was maybe a little comforting to hide behind? That was a totally normal thing to think.

  Wait, she had a tail too! It was a lot more demon than cat, and kind of very distracting when it twitched, but how the heck did he not notice it earlier?

  Oh, the shoulders, right.

  The witch misunderstood what was happening, keeping her focus on the stranger but reaching one arm behind her and to pat him in a reassuring manner that also served to press him a little bit against her back. Which was reassuring. He was gonna go with that. That was the feeling he was feeling.

  “Don’t worry, the house has defences. Nobody will get hurt even if things go wrong.” she said quietly. “It would be better if they didn’t, because it sucks for everyone when the wards go off – but nobody will be hurt if they need to. Try to stay calm.”

  Ash was… gonna do that maybe.

  “… master.” The stranger finally managed to get out. It took another couple moments before she achieved any more coherence than that, but even then she was still mostly just gawping at the witch. Was it weird that Ash could rete to a woman brandishing a gun at them? That was pretty much his reaction when he saw the witch for the first time.

  “You won’t tempt me.” The stranger finally said, eyes rapidly flicking between Ash and the witch.

  “Um.” The witch said.

  "You won't tempt me." she repeated, more resolutely this time.

  For some reason, the person she was looking at was Ash.

  Ash did his best to hide while still being able to peek at what was going on, which probably exposed his ears, but it was just very difficult to those hidden while still looking and also he felt like he couldn’t look away even if he kept looking away because eye contact was scary.

  "As the lord is my witness-" the dy began, attempting semi-successfully to maintain eye contact with him.

  “No," the witch interrupted, "No, no. Stop it. Stop casting."

  The woman was undeterred, continuing her endless litany of praise for a Lord who loves everyone and how great he was while also insulting all the things that he hated including anyone not associated with him, which was apparently a lot of people. There were some contradictory messages being sent here.

  "Seriously, stop it. Casting. Praying, whatever you call it” the witch repeated. “Please? It isn't going to work, and you're just gonna set off the wards a lot worse than usual. Look, can we talk about this? We can talk about this.”

  She seemed a little nervous, which was different than the vibe she had only moments before, which was of course very comforting.

  The gun was also starting to glow, which Ash was pretty sure was not a thing guns usually did. The dy holding it didn’t seem to care though, continuing her rant-chant-thing undeterred. Maybe that was supposed to happen?

  The witch on the other hand actually was getting more agitated. "Lady, you're really not going to accomplish anything. The moment you try to release that it’s not going to exorcise me – it’s going to backfire, set the wards off, and get you thrown out of this house and into one somewhere across the street. You’re just going to hurt yourself, and you’re going to give us all a bunch of headaches, and seriously affect the integrity of my-"

  The intruder shouted something, and then the world went white. The fsh was so bright that Ash could hear it in his brain, and then there was a sensation like the whole house had flipped sideways which convinced him that the floor needed a hug. A really long one, and maybe for him to press his forehead against it because it was nice and cold and he was burning up a little bit in stark contrast to the fact that it was still freezing in here. A couple seconds ter his hands found their way to his eyes as if to retroactively protect them from the brightness, but that was a lost cause. He was going to have a headache for a while. Actually, pretty much everything from the tips of his new ears to the base of his tail kinda ached. He was all sore.

  “Fuck.” the witch said, from somewhere above him.

  There was a moment of pure silence – not even the wind outside making any noise – and then she let out a groan. One of those really long grumbly ones, the kind that just goes on and on as you realize all the other things about this situation that are terrible and that you have to be upset about.

  Ash didn’t know what those other things were, but he wholeheartedly agreed with the sentiment. Wards going off sucked.

  Still, as nice as the floor was being, it did eventually become uncomfortable to lie on. He had these new parts that were squishing up against both it and the Halloween candy he’d accidentally id on in a terrible way, and the hardwood was kind of hard for some reason. It also wasn’t his house to begin with, and he felt like it might be weird to be lying naked on a stranger’s floor when there wasn’t any alcohol involved.

  Ash fumbled into a sitting position, looking around the room again.

  The inquisitor was gone. The hall was mostly the same minus the candy now scattered everywhere, and the witch was looking down at him and fidgeting with an expression like she’d just stepped on a kitt-

  Ash was up and hugging her before he could really even think about what he was doing, interrupting his scan of the apartment to instead squish himself up against her as tight as he could. She froze, but Ash had the sense that it was more out of surprise than because she was upset at the action. He leaned into it, doing his best to make it a comforting squish because he was like maybe 80% sure this was finally the hug that was actually for her and not just because he wanted to do it. That was the sort of expression that deserved so many hugs. So many. Nobody looked like that when they were actually okay.

  It took a moment, but she finally rexed into him, hugging back with a simir amount of force.

  “Fuck.” She repeated.

  Ash squeezed her even harder, and she let out one of those groans people make when they know they’re not supposed to be taking a break but are doing it anyways.

  “… Why are you hugging me?” she finally mumbled.

  Ash opened his mouth, not entirely sure if he was able to communicate but willing to try. His first attempt didn’t work so well, but after another moment of hugs and tail-swishing he finally managed to fidget enough to get some words out.

  “… Because you looked like you needed a hug?” was his great expnation.

  The witch let out a long breath and an unintelligible mumble. Ash felt her arms tighten around him. Ash liked it when her arms tightened around him.

  “I’m sorry.” She said after another moment. “I screwed up.”

  Ash didn’t even try to respond, just staying quiet because he expected her to continue, but she didn’t. Instead, she just leaned into him with a fair bit of weight.

  He leaned back. This was nice. He liked this hug, context aside.

  After another moment, she leaned down even more and rested her head on his shoulder. The height difference meant that it required more than a little leaning, but she managed to make work. He patted her back in his best attempt at comfortingly.

  “There’s… a problem.” She said.

  Ash tilted his head in confusion, which she presumably couldn’t see but evidently could feel because his ears were very big and he could feel them brushing her, which prompted a giggle followed by another groan.

  “… Sorry, it would probably be easier to show you. Can you come with me for a second?” She said, giving him one of those little pat-on-the-back things people do when its time for the hug to end. She stepped back to look at him, then immediately averted her eyes.

  “Um.” She said, pointedly facing the wall. “Maybe you should get dressed first though.”

  Oh. Ash realized, right. That was why it was freezing when he wasn’t actively hugging her. Well, that and because her house was cold.

  Ash attempted to slip back into his clothes, finding that – well, he could get the shirt on, but it maybe wasn’t very comfortable anymore. Not that it ever really fit, just that it definitely didn’t now in a different way that it didn’t fit before. The chest was very tight and the stomach didn’t exactly touch his stomach anymore. The fabric was also a lot rougher than he remembered, and kind of chafing a bit. Also, pulling overly tight shirts on hurt his new ears.

  “Um.” Ash said, once he’d gotten it on.

  “Hm?” the witch asked, gncing over before letting out another extremely guilty groan.

  “Ah crap.” She said. “I didn’t think about clothes, that definitely doesn’t fit.”

  Ash fidgeted. “It’s… fine.” He finally mumbled. Was it easier to talk when he swished his tail? Was that a thing that helped? It felt like it did. It also really was fine. It wasn’t exactly physically comfortable, but he liked the way it fit now more than the way it fit before? And at least the sweater still fit. It was so big that he had to roll up the sleeves, but it was still very soft and comfy and nice to hide in and all that extra space meant that suddenly having different anatomy didn’t cause any problems. If it wasn’t so cold, he might even be able to get away without wearing the shirt under it…

  The witch coughing interrupted his little reverie.

  “Hm?” Ash asked.

  “Aren’t you going to put on pants?”

  Ash gnced down at himself. The view (and what wasn’t in view) caused another little set of butterflies in his tummy, but also he definitely wasn’t wearing pants.

  “Ah.” He said.

  He turned around again, aiming to pick up his sweatpants but stopping when he saw the little clip-on tail that he’d worn into the building still attached to them. It was weird comparing it to the one he was now swishing. He’d liked the thing when he’d first got it – or rather he’d like the idea of the thing – but it was made of such obviously cheap pstic that the two didn’t even compare. The new one was just so soft, and attached to him, and he could swish it. That part was really good, he liked swishing it.

  The sweatpants were still just sweatpants though. They didn’t have the same issues as the shirt did since sweatpants in general are pretty flexible, but he kind of had to low-ride them more than he would’ve liked in order to let his new tail out. With the sweater hanging down he was pretty sure nothing was exposed, but it overall did feel a little improvised. He could’ve pulled the pants up over his tail in order to hide everything properly, but that had the absolutely unacceptable side effect of constraining it and making it very difficult to swish so it was right out. It would probably be better if he could poke a hole in the back or something to let the tail out properly, but then getting them on would probably be an annoying pain if you had to like thread them over the tail first before you could wear them.

  Jeans would’ve sucked.

  Ash was kind of hoping to catch her looking at him when he gnced back, but the witch was back to staring studiously at the wall, which was a little bit disappointing, and - wait, when did that happen? Change rooms were hell, he’d always hated people looking at him. Why was being looked at suddenly okay?

  Ash decided not to think about it.

  The witch was still staring at the wall, and not him, which meant he needed to get her attention somehow to indicate that he was finished which was definitely, totally a thing he could do. He had a strategy now maybe.

  Ash took a few deep breaths, then actively swished his tail for a moment. “Okay um, I’m dressed.” He mumbled on the first try. Aaaa it worked! It did help!

  The witch gnced over at him, giving him a thorough once over while still wearing a face that showed mostly guilt, which was an interesting contrast to his current state of trying not to look too proud about the fact that he just talked. He should probably kinda maybe be worried about the fact that someone with a gun had just broken into the house and then weird things he didn’t understand were happening, but he had also just gotten cat ears and a bunch of other stuff that he really liked done to him, and that was still influencing his mental state a little bit.

  “Okay.” The witch said, nodding to herself now that he was ready. “Uh, how about I show you what I was gonna show you, and then maybe you can borrow some of my pajamas? I don’t necessarily think they’ll fit very well given the retive size differences, but uh, it should at least be more comfortable than that shirt you’re wearing. Plus, there’ll already be holes for your tail.”

  “Why pajamas?” Ash asked.

  The witch winced. “Come with me please?” She deflected, taking a couple steps back down the hall.

  Ash took a moment to gather up his belongings before following her, doing his best not to slip on the scattered Halloween candy as they walked their way back to the door that he’d come in through what felt like ages ago but had to have only been like - what, fifteen minutes? Twenty? Had it really been so short? It felt way longer than that but he also couldn’t really account for more time.

  He was exhausted though. A lot had happened.

  The witch stopped at the front door, which had apparently closed when the wards went off. She gave him another guilty look and then, taking a deep breath, she opened the door and gestured into the street.

  Except there was no street, the street was missing.

  The garden was still there, somehow way better lit than it was the st time he looked despite the fact that there were fewer light sources, only now instead of going out to the street the path disappeared into the woods. The woods that were where the street was supposed to be. Like, deep woods. There was no street, there were no houses, there was not a single trick or treater in the lot out front and also it was surrounded by what looked a lot like untouched old growth forest.

  At least the pretty fall colours were still there?

  Ash turned back to the witch, finding she was wearing an expression even guiltier than the st one she’d been wearing. He gnced between her and the missing street a couple times.

  “I uh, move the house for Halloween, but when the wards go off everything goes back to where it started and um, that’s not the street we were on?” she expined.

  He gnced back at the garden again, and the actually rather beautiful but kind of spooky looking woods that existed beyond the path that was definitely not the street they started on.

  He looked back at her.

  “It’s um, we’re not in the same pce,” she said, presumably just to confirm what she’d already just told him.

  “Huh.” Ash said. He didn’t know how to feel about that.

  Wait, did that also mean he was going to miss the party? He didn’t have to come up with an excuse?

  “You’re going to miss your party.” She said sadly.

  Ash kind of got the impression that that wasn’t actually supposed to be an answer to his question – especially because the tone was wrong – though it did happen to come at just the right time to answer his question. He swished his tail again, gncing between her and the outside.

  “So um, what does that mean now?” He asked. Was he stuck here? What about his friends?

  “Well, I can put the house back, but the problem is that the spell only works when nobody is watching the space that the house is moving to, which would be fine except that the street we started on is basically a tourist attraction?” she said. “It’s just, yknow, it’s Halloween and it’s real close to the university so people are going to be partying and uh. Basically people are going to be up all night? And on the street? If we’re lucky we might get a window where something exciting happens and everyone turns to look the other way, but the whole point of picking a street that goes all-out with decorating is so that it’s less suspicious when a house that shouldn’t be there is, except that also means that more people are there so that they can come look at the houses and uh. Basically there’s no guarantee that it’s going to happen tonight? To be honest, I don’t think we’re going to be able to get you home until sometime tomorrow evening.”

  “Oh.” Ash said. “And, um. My friends?” he asked.

  His cellphone was currently showing no signal at all, which apparently meant that the house moved far.

  The witch winced again. “You’re probably not going to be able to talk to them until we get back, I don’t have a way to contact them from here.”

  “Oh.” Ash said again.

  That was… really not ideal. They were not going to be happy, and they were definitely going to be worried, but… was there really anything else she could’ve done?

  Ash thought about it for a few moments.

  “… Okay.” He said quietly.

  She blinked at him. “Okay?”

  “Okay.” He confirmed with a nod.

  She stared at him for a couple seconds, but not in a fun way. More in an absolutely bewildered but also concerned way. “That’s… that’s all you’re going to say?” she asked. There was a fearful edge to the look, like she was expecting him to get mad at her. Or try to hit her. Or… something.

  She looked… vulnerable.

  Ash slowly stepped forwards, and carefully hugged her instead.

  “Um.” She said.

  “Mm.” Ash agreed, pressing his forehead to her side. She was still warm.

  “That’s- I uh, I don’t.” she said.

  Ash gnced up at her.

  “I don’t understand.” She said ftly. “Aren’t you mad?

  Ash shook his head.

  “But I basically kidnapped you!” she protested.

  Ash squeezed her a little harder. Actually looking her in the eye while he talked was apparently a no right now, so instead he closed his eyes and leaned into her and went back to focusing on the hug.

  “But you didn’t do it on purpose, right?” he mumbled into her side.

  She was silent for a moment. For long enough that he felt the need to peek up at her again to make sure he hadn’t just screwed up somehow, and when he did she was looking back at him with genuine bewilderment. That wasn’t hostility, so Ash went back to pressing his forehead into her shoulder again. She was so warm. Even clothed he was still freezing. He almost felt a little feverish actually, what with the ward-going-off soreness and the cold and all, but she was so warm. It was like his body was drinking it.

  She let him hug him for a long time.

  Finally, she sighed again, patting him on the head gently. “I can’t believe you’re being so understanding about this.” She compined. “I… no, you’re right. I didn’t do it on purpose. Thank you.”

  She sighed a third time.

  Ash just “mm’d” at her.

  He’d thought the hug would go on for a little longer, but apparently it didn’t. The witch stepped back, pulling out of his arms which Ash totally didn’t grumble inwardly to himself. He was very mature about the warmth leaving.

  She gave him a pained smile. “So, um. I know this is terrible timing and all, but with the wards going off I really need to go check on some stuff before I can commit to anything. It… well, I’m in the fourth year of a five year project, and sometimes the wards going off fucks with magic a bit, and I really need to know how screwed I am before I can really think of anything else. I probably should’ve checked it already, but I also didn’t want to leave you, so uh. I was thinking. Um, Otto?” she said.

  She looked over over at the giant spider that was just next to them in the hallway, currently cleaning up scattered Halloween candy.

  Ash squeaked, pressing his back against the wall.

  The two of them looked at him.

  Ash fidgeted nervously. “Sorry I just um, forgot he was there.” he said. It was even true! There had been like a ton of things going on in the st little while and surprise absolutely influenced the reaction he’d just had.

  The witch and the spider looked at each other for a moment.

  “Sorry I just want to confirm, are you actually okay with spiders?” she asked, gazing at him as if trying to read his face. “Otto said you were really cool with him outside in the garden, and that you even shook his hand, so I just thought…”

  Ash opened his mouth.

  Closed his mouth.

  Took a few deep breaths.

  “Yes.” He finally managed to lie. “I am very chill with spiders. That was just surprise. I was not expecting someone to be behind me.”

  “Oh. Well okay then.” the witch said, still looking frazzled. “How about this, I step downstairs to make sure everything’s fine so that I can stop worrying about it and actually commit the rest of my time to you tonight, and in the meantime, Otto walks you up to my room so you can take a look around and see if there’s anything you want to borrow? I know we’re not exactly the same size, but at the very least it should be more comfortable than what you’re wearing. You’ll at least be able to get the shirt on.”

  “I have the shirt on.” Ash mumbled.

  She looked at him. “Is it comfortable?”

  Ash looked at the floor. “No.” He admitted, shaking his head.

  She tsk’d. “Seriously, wear whatever you want. Please? And if you don’t see anything and want to keep wearing the stuff you came in with, then that’s okay too, but can you at least look? I feel bad about putting you in this situation and you really don’t look comfortable like that.”

  “That’s, um. Okay.” Ash agreed.

  “Thank you!” she said.

  She nodded again, and then she was gone.

  And Ash apparently needed to follow a spider.