The Hero is Too Busy Paying His Rent!Chapter 2: The Chosen One vs. The Lunch RushI stood in the middle of Burger Castle’s destroyed dining area, holding a legendary golden sword in one hand and a greasy spatu in the other.

  In front of me, the Demon King, a ten-foot-tall monstrosity with fming horns and glowing red eyes, pointed a warhammer at my face.

  “I have finally found you, Hero!” he bellowed. “Your destiny is to fight me in an epic battle that will shake the very heavens!”

  Behind me, my manager Karen sighed. “Rento, if you’re not on the register in ten seconds, you’re fired.”

  I looked at the sword. Then at the Demon King. Then at my manager.

  “Can this wait until after my shift?” I asked.

  The Demon King blinked. “What?”

  “I’m working right now. Can we do the whole ‘final battle’ thing ter?”

  Silence. The entire restaurant stared at me. The only sound was the faint sizzling of the fryer.

  “You… you do realize I am the Demon King, correct?” he asked.

  “Yeah.”

  “I have sughtered armies. I have conquered nations. My mere presence bends reality itself.”

  “Cool.”

  “And you are choosing to ignore me… because you have work?”

  “Yes.”

  The Demon King stared at me like I had just told him I eat soup with a fork.

  The silence stretched on. A single tumbleweed rolled past the broken entrance of the restaurant.

  “…Fine,” the Demon King finally said, crossing his arms. “Then I’ll wait.”

  My manager frowned. “Sir, you can’t loiter without ordering something.”

  The most powerful being in the world let out a long, tired sigh. “Then give me a Grilled Dragon Deluxe Combo with a side of despair.”

  “We only have fries.”

  “Fine. Fries.”

  I rang up his order. He paid in cursed gold, which our register didn’t accept, so we had to call a manager override.

  This was my life now.

  A Hero’s True Test: The Lunch RushThe battle didn’t start immediately. Instead, I got stuck working the lunch rush.

  Burger Castle’s policy was clear: "The customer is always right, even if they are an unholy entity from beyond time and space."

  At 12:05 PM, a half-goblin, half-cyborg walked up to the register.

  “I ordered a burger,” he grumbled, holding up his tray, “but there’s no burger in it.”

  I looked at his tray. The bun was there. The lettuce was there. The sauce was there.

  But the actual patty? Completely missing.

  I turned to the kitchen. “Kenji.”

  My coworker Kenji, a college dropout who got his culinary degree from a YouTube tutorial, looked up. “Yeah?”

  “You forgot the burger.”

  Kenji blinked. “Huh.”

  The customer tapped his metal fingers against the counter. “So?”

  I nodded, grabbed the bun off his tray, walked over to the fryer, and deep-fried the entire thing in front of him.

  I then handed him the dripping, grease-soaked mess.

  “There. Problem solved.”

  The customer stared at it. I stared back. Neither of us blinked.

  “…Good enough,” he muttered, taking a bite and walking away.

  At 12:30 PM, a dark sorcerer approached the counter.

  “I require the Forbidden Burger,” he intoned.

  “…The what?”

  “The Forbidden Burger,” he repeated, lowering his voice to a whisper. “I heard rumors that Burger Castle hides a secret menu item so evil, so cursed, that eating it grants you forbidden knowledge beyond mortal comprehension.”

  I looked at the menu. “The closest thing we have is the ‘Triple Heart Attack Deluxe.’”

  The sorcerer nodded. “Yes. That one.”

  “Alright. That’ll be 1,500 yen.”

  The sorcerer pulled out a pouch and dumped sixteen ancient gold coins onto the counter.

  I turned to Karen. “Do we take eldritch currency?”

  She sighed. “We do now.”

  At 1:00 PM, an elf noblewoman stormed up to the counter.

  “I demand to see the manager,” she decred.

  I nodded and walked into the back.

  Thirty seconds ter, I returned.

  “I am the manager now,” I said.

  The elf hesitated. “What?”

  “Karen quit. So now I’m the manager.”

  “…But you were just—”

  “Yes.”

  The elf took a deep breath. “Fine. I ordered a sad, and this is not a sad.”

  I looked at her tray. It contained a single, unpeeled potato.

  “Kenji,” I said.

  From the kitchen: “Oh. My bad.”

  I stared at the elf. The elf stared back. Neither of us spoke.

  “…Fine,” she muttered, picking up the potato and leaving.

  The Battle Begins (Sort Of)At 1:30 PM, I finally got my break.

  I sat in the destroyed break room, eating a half-burnt burger while the Demon King sat across from me, still waiting for our fight.

  “You know,” he muttered, “I was expecting more screaming and panic when I arrived.”

  I shrugged. “Eh. This city gets invaded at least twice a week.”

  The Demon King sighed. “This is why I hate modern society. In my day, people respected world-ending threats. Now it’s all ‘Oh no, another demon invasion, guess I’ll go to work anyway.’”

  I took a bite of my burger. “Sounds rough.”

  He nodded. “It really is. Just the other day, I turned an entire kingdom to ash, and they rebuilt it before I even left. I’m starting to think I’m in the wrong industry.”

  I chewed thoughtfully. “Have you considered therapy?”

  The Demon King gave me a deadpan stare. “I am therapy. For war criminals.”

  Fair enough.

  Before we could continue our incredibly stupid conversation, the door burst open.

  “REENTO!!”

  I looked up.

  Standing in the doorway was Arthur von Excalibur III, the so-called ‘True Chosen Hero.’

  He was tall, muscur, and looked like he had been sculpted by a god who specialized in making protagonists. His armor gleamed. His flowing blond hair moved in slow motion despite the fact that there was no wind.

  He pointed a gleaming holy sword at my face. “So, you’re the fake hero I’ve heard so much about!”

  I took another bite of my burger.

  “You’re te,” I said.

  Arthur blinked. “Huh?”

  “The Demon King showed up hours ago.” I gestured at the Demon King, who waved.

  Arthur gaped. “B-But I just finished my epic training arc!”

  I shrugged. “Sucks to be you.”

  Arthur clenched his fists. “I have trained in the mountains for seven years! I have mastered every sword technique! I have fought gods!”

  I checked the time. “Uh-huh. Are you ordering food, or…?”

  Arthur’s eye twitched. “I don’t have time for this nonsense! The Demon King must be defeated!”

  He lunged forward, sword raised—

  —and tripped over a mop bucket.

  His own sword flew out of his hands, spun through the air, and stabbed directly into the Demon King’s chest.

  Silence.

  Arthur blinked. “Huh?”

  The Demon King looked down at the sword. “Oh.”

  Then he crumbled to dust and died.

  The entire restaurant went silent.

  I stared at the pile of dust. Then at Arthur. Then at the "SPECIAL PROMOTION: BUY ONE, GET ONE FREE" sign behind him.

  “Huh,” I muttered. “Guess that’s over.”

  Arthur stood there, visibly confused. “Did… did I win?”

  “Looks like it.”

  “I—I was supposed to have a dramatic battle! A showdown between light and darkness! A war of destiny!”

  “Too bad,” I said. “Anyway, you’re holding up the line.”

  Arthur’s eye twitched. Then, without another word, he turned around and walked out.

  A second ter, the Demon King’s ashes twitched… and then he reformed.

  “Ugh,” he muttered, stretching. “Dying sucks.”

  I sipped my drink. “Welcome back.”

  “Thanks.”

  Arthur screamed from outside.

  To Be Continued…